I just read the cast listing of the new Star Trek film and my reaction was, “Holy shit. Really?” I knew it was a prequel directed by J.J. Abrams. I had no idea how much they were going to reinvent the show. Here’s the cast:

Bones will be played by Karl Urban. This is the first severe departure as Karl has mainly played big tough guys in Doom, Bourne Supremacy, The Chronicles of Riddick, Lord of the Rings, even Xena. When you think of Bones, you don’t actually picture a guy who could crush your bones:

Sulu will be played by John Cho, aka Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. He’s also the guy who introduced us to the term MILF in American Pie. But I don’t think he’s responsible for MILF Hunter. Anyway, not too big of a stretch. The real disappointment is that H&K2 won’t take place in Amsterdam. Lame.

Spock will be played by Zachary Quinto, Sylar from Heroes. Sylar is pretty emotionless, so he’s got practice, but I won’t be able to stop wondering when he’ll bash an alien in the head and steal its powers.

Scotty will be played by Simon Pegg. You of course remember him as Shaun of the Dead, and the super cop from Hot Fuzz. (If you didn’t see it, BTW, Hot Fuzz was awesome.) My first ignorant thought was, “But he’s not Scottish!” Then I remembered James Doohan was Canadian and faked the accent. This is my favorite casting; Simon Pegg kicks ass.

Well, everyone else is an unknown, except for Eric Bana who plays Nero. I’m assuming that’s the bad guy. He’s probably an alien gambler who turns into an unstoppable green monster when he loses money. And it looks like Nimoy will make an appearance as Old Spock. But I’m rather concerned, because I think Shatner is practically irreplaceable. It just occurred to me that Kirk is about as hard to cast as Batman. And by that logic, Christian Bale is the only choice to play him. If you can make an awesome Batman (best ever!), you can make an awesome Kirk. I just wish Abrams had asked me before he picked some random dude.