Rants

What is Value?

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A very annoying and potentially frustrating thing happened to me at the US post office. I recently purchased a new canon digital camera and lens (which I am trying to finish the review on… so watch out for future posts) due to a huge rebate that Canon was offering. The rebate for each item was a great value but (thanks to intelligence sources outside The Crack Team) I found out that if you purchased two eligible items that canon would double your rebate. This brought my total rebate value to $700. Not an unimpressive number in my opinion and certainly worth something to someone. The way you actually claim your rebate is to clip out the UPC codes from the boxes the items came in and mail them to Canon. Enter the USPS and its bizarre definition of the word value.

Canon, or the company that Canon contracts to do its rebates, has been known to royally screw up the rebate process making things agonizing for their customers. Armed with this knowledge I wanted to do everything I could to ensure that I not only had proof that Canon received my letter containing the UPC codes but that should the USPS lose it that I would be insured and would still be able to claim my $700. When I asked to insure the letter they asked me what was inside. Assuming they just wanted to make sure that I was not mailing anything illegal or dangerous I told them that I was mailing 2 pieces of cardboard for a rebate. “We cant insure that” says the lady at the counter. When I asked why they couldn’t insure the letter she said “we can only insure things that have value”. Such a statement did not compute; at that point all my agent training was lost and I found myself dumbstruck and confused behind enemy lines.

To the casual observer I suppose that two poorly cut out pieces of cardboard with little black stripes and some numbers on them are, in fact, worthless. I mean, it did look like I plucked them from the garbage can on the way into the post office. However, if you give said pieces of cardboard to the right people they will give you back $700, so doesn’t this imply that they have a value of $700? I was under the assumption that things (like gold, cars, baseball cards, etc) only had value because someone else would give you something for them. Even silly things like beads are worthless to some people but there are other people who would sell you islands like Manhattan in exchange for them.

If the USPS loses my letter then I lose $700, which was the point of me asking for insurance. All they could offer me was to have the mail certified, which would prove that I mailed the letter but would not prove to Canon that it actually contained any UPC codes. I could also have sent it registered mail but that wasn’t really what I was looking for either. All I wanted was some way to know that should the USPS lose my mail that I would be able to somehow get my $700 if Canon decided not to believe that I ever owned the UPC symbols.

In my entire life I haven’t had a letter lost in the mail so I am not terribly worried about it. However, two days ago I could have said the same thing about a flat tire (I didn’t have the insurance on that either). Since the universe seems against me lately I thought insurance was warranted. I have copies of the UPC symbols so I hope that they are acceptable to Canon should my uninsured letter get lost in the mail. I think next time I will choose either FedEx or UPS.

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Food

Flat Iron Steak

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Flat iron steak is a new cut of beef that was invented just a few years ago. I had no idea you could invent a steak, but researchers at the University of Nebraska and University of Florida they did just that. Basically, they were studying the cheap meats you normally don’t consider, and discovered that the “top blade” roast could be made into some damn good steaks if you removed the part that resembled shoe leather. The one I bought was about 12″ x 5″ x 1″ thick, and weighed 1.3 lbs. Of course, size isn’t everything.

I first heard about flat iron while reading about restaurants in Orange County that serve Kobe beef (aka Wagyu). Then I caught Stephen Raichlen expounding on it on Barbecue University (definitely worth watching if you’re a griller like me; his books are great, too). As Raichlen explains, the flat iron is second only to filet mignon in tenderness! And it’s cheap – I paid a little only $4/lb! And yes, it tastes good.

The one I bought was about 12″ x 5″ x 1″ thick, and weighed 1.3 lbs. Of course, size isn’t everything. I grilled it with just coarse Kosher salt, ground black pepper, and olive oil. I was shooting for medium rare, but it swelled up and came out closer to rare. Some steaks are tough if not cooked enough, but like a tenderloin or ribeye, this was still tender. And the flavor was decent, too. Filet mignon is known for not being very flavorful, which is why they serve it in sizzling herb butter at Ruth’s Chris, or wrap it in bacon, or wrap it in puff pastry with foie gras and truffles (Beef Wellington). And all of those fantastic recipes are why flat iron cannot replace tenderloin in the world of fine cuisine.

I don’t think flat iron is as tasty as ribeye, but boneless ribeye is 2-3 times more expensive and obscenely fatty. Granted, that’s why it’s so tasty, but it’s horrible for you unless you’re on some ultra-low-carb diet. And even then, it should be eaten sparingly.

I also like strip steak, skirt steak, and tri-tip, but when you factor in price and fat content, it’s hard to justify any other steak over flat iron for regular eating.

Edit: I recommend cutting the steak into 2-3 smaller steaks to speed cooking. I did a whole one (almost two pounds) and it easily doubled the cooking time.

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Everything Else, Rants, Television

Stephanie Edwards: Dig Dagger and Twist

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The topic of the Pasadena Rose Parade is far afield from the fare on the CrackTeam (CT) website. But I think there are enough mitigating circumstances to include the Parade in our website this year: George Lucas is the Grand Marshall, Star Wars floats on the road, 501st Stormtrooper garrison marching, CT members working just a couple of blocks from the parade route, Pasadena JPL and its role in the birth of CT, etc. etc.

I have to address one of the cruelest moments in the parade. No, it was not the disgraceful sight of Darth Vader ambling down the street waving at the crowds. Embarrassing. The Lord of the Sith should have more comtempt for the crowds; perhaps he could have pelted them with LucasFilm (TM) merchandise and completed the spectacle.

No, the cruelest moment was the comment made by Bob Eubanks while the U.S. Marine Mounted Color Guard was parading for the cameras. He mentioned that the horses are periodically retired, much like “aging commentators on TV.” He was of course referring to the absence of Stephanie Edwards from the coverage this year. Stephanie is a victim of the ol’ double standard: guys age gracefully and look more distinguished, gals just age. She was probably also experiencing the Star Trek Maxim: a new series (TNG, DS9, Voyager, Enterprise) comes up every few years because the more established actors get paid lots more and expect the salaries to keep on going up every year with a successful series. Stephanie and Bob are probably very expensive to keep, and that’s the first place you cut (according to management).
But this is a prime example of management “not having a clue.”  In TV-Land you are supposed to extract as much viewer interest as you can, for the money you are spending. I would have done a couple of “Farewell” type broadcasts and engaged the audience in that way. Having Stephanie say her goodbyes last year in the pouring rain was just NOT the way to do it. And the bad blood between KTLA and the viewers is not a good thing.

But perhaps Bob was referring to the fact that his option is coming due soon, and that perhaps he would also be let go. That would be a shame. He and Stephanie were a fixture on New Years Day morning and should be accorded some respect. But I’m sure he’ll get the Fond Farewell option (accompanying harp strings and wavering video effects, please).

One final note to KTLA management: if you want to bring the viewers in, please feel free to manipulate us. A “Final Farewell” broadcast with the old commentators would be a ratings hit. And I’d be the first dupe watching. For now, I recommend the ABC local broadcast feed; it’s the best HD feed after the KTLA offering.

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BTW, Technology

Encrypted Email

I just received a rather amusing virus. It claimed to be an encrypted email from AOL, in the form of a .zip attachment. I was told to keep it in a safe place. The amusing part was that in the body of the email, they included a user name and password with which to unlock the file. As if both were needed to unlock a zip file (AFAIK, only passwords are used to lock zip files), and that you would send that in plain-text. It’s the email equivalent of mailing a lock box with the key taped to its side.

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Everything Else, Technology

Texas Hold ‘Em: Yahoo!

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I know there are agents out there that love Texas Hold ‘Em. It’s nice to just… get together with friends and have a drink or two. Steal each others’ money. It’s great, just great.

But since there haven’t been that many games going on, I started looking for free Texas Hold ‘Em online. So far, the best place I’ve found is the Hold ‘Em Poker tables at Yahoo! Games.

Of course, you need to be registered at Yahoo! but who doesn’t already have an account with them? It’s free. You can sign up here.

First off, it’s nothing short of bitmap graphics. It’s obvious this wasn’t made to evoke some glamorous lifestyle but it gets the job done. There are plenty of skill levels to play with and tables to target them. Or you can play socially, since every table has chatting enabled. But one feature I was hoping to use is the option to create a private table and invite whichever players you want. You can’t set the limits or the wages, though, that’s the only downside.

So, if anyone’s interested, post a comment and let me know what your user name is. Maybe we can schedule a night to log on and play. Everyone starts with $1000 and if you go below, you just owe the bank. I’ve seen players with -$7243. I haven’t the heart to tell them they have a problem.

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Film

It’s Obvious, Episode 4: The Fountain

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This movie will most likely become a classic, in the league of 2001:A Space Odyssey. Not as effective as that cinematic milestone, but just as ambitious. It is also just as confusing: this is a good thing. Aronofsky has given us another tour-de-force, just as intense as “Pi” and “Requiem for a Dream” but centered around a love story.

I am going to discuss a few obvious religious symbols in the movie, and will leave it at that. You should go see it and decide what it all means to you.

Spoilers follow……….

Continue reading It’s Obvious, Episode 4: The Fountain →

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Humor

Blasphemy but comedy

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So I was in Lonestar steakhouse, waiting for my order and I had this wonderful thought:
Christians use the cross as a symbol of Christ. What would we have used if he was hanged? Would we all worship a noose?
Instead of performing the devotional gesture of a cross on our chests, we’d have to trace a hand around our neck and pull up on an imaginary rope with our tongue sticking out.
Good thing they didn’t have the electric chair back then. It would make for some horrible looking necklaces.

In closing, if I were a great man, and died by stepping on a land mine, please don’t worship the thing that killed me. Just worship me.
(Also, no statues or artwork depicting the moment I was blown to bits. Thanks.)

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The most famous covert organization in the world.