Hit and Runs: I’m Against Them

I’ve decided I’m against hit and runs. This epiphany came to me about 8:25AM. That also happens to be 5 minutes after my car was sideswiped by someone who did not stop to leave a note. The event may have influenced my opinion.

I didn’t hear a thing, but my roommate did. By the time he ran out there, the criminal was gone. I called the cops who came pretty quickly. Several neighbors came out to survey the damage and console me, but nobody witnessed the crime. After inspecting the damage closely, however, we came to a few conclusions.

There is no paint on my car – the damage was done by large tires, and a fair amount of rubber was transferred. It was clearly a big truck of some sort with tires that stick out. There was a street sweeper, but his truck didn’t match the pattern (the cop waved him over and checked). And yes, I’m an asshat and forgot about street sweeping day. I wasn’t supposed to be parked there. In my defense, I’ve only been in that neighborhood a month and there are no signs to warn you, as you don’t get ticketed if you forget.

There are two trucks in the neighborhood that match that description and must drive past my car to leave the development. One was parked in his driveway and a neighbor confirmed it was there all morning. Plus, the owner came out to see what was going on and talk with us.

The other truck is owned by someone named Robert1. Robert is a neighborhood punk. Twice he’s tore up the grass in the park by doing donuts. Nothing was done about it, except the HOA put some big boulders around one area to keep him from driving on it again. The repairs came from everyone’s dues. When the cop asked if anyone knew him personally, one neighbor said his only contact with Robert was when he confronted him about driving drunk through the neighborhood with his friends. The cop thought that might suggest he’s the type of person to also hit a guy’s car and flee. Unfortunately, the criminal did not leave anything useful when he left, like maybe some white paint from his truck, or a side mirror. Only my side mirror was found, about 40′ from my car.

It’s worth noting that 30 minutes later, my roommate caught Robert returning to the scene of the crime. Robert spent a while surveying the damage done to my car, and then sped off when my roommate walked out. My guess is that he was thinking, “Wow, that looks just like I hit it with my truck. Time to buy new tires.”

So right now Robert is the prime suspect. If I can get evidence, the cop will arrest the guy, or try to intimidate him into confessing. Unfortunately, Robert has experience with vehicular crime and knows enough to park his car in his garage. If anyone has any suggestions for collecting evidence in this situation, please comment (or contact me – the form is at the bottom of this page).

  1. His name has not been changed. []

Missing In Acton

I was pretty blown away when I first heard M.I.A.‘s (Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam’s) debut album Arular. The Sri Lankan supercutie creates a mix of ragga and electro funk, so it’s like a dancey, electronic reggae (and I’m not a big reggae fan). The lyrics are nonsensical (or in some dialect of slang I’m ignorant of), but that doesn’t reduce the likeability. Her award winning follow-up Kala has more of a traditional electronic dance, clubby feel. It also includes a cover of the Pixies’ Where Is My Mind? (which samples New Order to boot).

Instead of continuing this awkward description, why don’t you just check out some videos? Like I said, she’s easy on the eyes…

Galang (from Arular)

Bucky Done Gun (from Arular)

Boyz (from Kala)

20 Dollar (from Kala)
Note: fake video, real song

Trouble Sleeping?

Tim Ferriss of 4-Hour Work Week has an article on “hacking” sleep. I’m a night owl, which I don’t consider a problem, but some of his tips might help you if you suffer from insomnia.

The most interesting one to me was the caffeine nap: you down a shot of espresso like it was vodka, set the alarm for 20 minutes, and take a nap. When the alarm hits you’re refreshed and the caffeine is working. It reminds me of Agent Bladerunner’s method, which he learned from a founding father: nap in a chair with a spoon in your hand. Right when you’re about to hit REM, you drop the spoon and wake up. If you do go into REM, you probably need to stay there in increments of 90 minutes or you’ll be really groggy.

I Hate Diablo Cody

Boy do I hate Diablo Cody, the screenwriter.  But this is going to be a long-term project, for she does seem to have some talent.  It’s a backhanded compliment; just take it, as it is the best I can do.  And please notice that I recognize her as a screenwriter.

She had a great debut with the screenplay for the movie “Juno”  –a movie that I fully intended to dislike–  and the Hollywood community agreed by giving her the Oscar this year.  The movie was not too bad, a lot better than I expected, and I went in with totally negative expectations.  Her future output should be rather good and if the quality stays constant she’ll do great.

But I hate her new name, Diablo Cody.  It smacks of pretention; you could have done better, Diablo Cody. If you wanted to make a statement and have your work speak for you, I would have chosen a name like Jane Smith or better yet, Jane Doe Smith.  It would have been a hoot to see a Jane Smith walk up to the podium to accept the Oscar, dressed in the nouveau-goth attire and sporting that annoying, gigantic tattoo that screams “Notice Me !!”  That would have been ballsy.

But you took the easy way out and stayed in your post-stripper mentality, choosing a moniker that screams “Attitude entering the room”  I really resent your presenting the stripper world as the ninth level of Hell On Earth; if you’d come up through the world of coal-mining in Virginia I would have a little more sympathy.  As it is, you made your living through the habits of needy, creepy men (present company excepted)  that frequent strip bars.  Not really the noblest profession on earth.  So saying that you’ve paid your dues sounds rather hollow.

But I’m only one person and this is just my opinion.  After you produce a few more outstanding screenplays,  I will probably forgive you and forget this piece.  But you’ll always be Jane Smith in my heart.

Apple Market Share Jumps to 14%!

This is pretty big news: Macs now account for 14% of all PC sales by units sold. By dollars spent, it’s 25% – yes, they are friggin’ expensive.

In my microverse, the laptop share must be 80% or more. What’s interesting is that even by techies, they’re not being bought for OS X. The reasons I’m hearing are that it’s very reliable and (this is coming from a very talented sysadmin, mind you) “it’s just so thin…”. Several people are using Windows as the main OS.

By non-techies, it’s totally the external form that sells it. Clearly Microsoft thought making Vista look more like Aqua would help, but it’s the container, not the guts, that’s grabbing buyers. I heard another story on Hacker News from a guy who explained to his friend how the Macbook Pro was so much faster than the Macbook, even though the specs look similar. His eyes glazed over, and then he proclaimed, “Yeah, I like look of the glossy black one better.” These aren’t computers, they’re accessories.

I think they’re cool, and I love the fact that it’s UNIX under the hood and runs Windows reliably. But I still have a hard time spending $600+ more for a laptop with fewer features than an HP or Dell. But I’d definitely take the Apple over the Sony.

PS2 Outsells PS3 Outsells Xbox 360

I frequently have to adjust my assumptions. Everyone knows the Wii is the top console these days, but it always amazes me to hear that the PS2 is next in line. Sony sold 352,000 units in February alone! Versus 281K for the PS3 and 255K for the 360. And the Nintendo DS outsells everything at 588K units last month. The #1 game was Devil May Cry 4, which I’d never even heard of – not even 1-3. I’m not a console gamer, but I figured I’d at least hear of the best selling game in the market. I think it’s time I a start midlife crisis.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

When I recently read about a Clone Wars cartoon, I thought I might have accidentally stumbled on an old article. I remembered the Emmy winning 2003 Clone Wars cartoon. Now Lucas has created another Clone Wars cartoon. Stupid mistake on my part; the original was called Star Wars: Clone Wars, while the new show as a completely different name – Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Both take place between episodes II and III.

The official site has a trailer and a video intro to the series.

Overall, the animation looks like they did it with a video game rendering engine, embellished in parts. Perhaps they’re borrowing technology from The Force Unleashed. Of course, it sure sounds like Star Wars.

New Comedy Central Shows

Comedy Central is getting some new shows that might be good:

Andy Richter is getting a sketch comedy show. If it’s anywhere near as good as Andy Richter Controls the Universe – one of the top 10 American sitcoms – I’ll be very happy. The sadly short lived Andy Barker, P.I. was also great.

Snoop Dogg is getting an animated show based on his teenage years in Long Beach. I live about 20 minutes from Long Beach, but I’m guessing it’s not set in any of the parts I’ve been to, except, perhaps, by accident.

Nick Swardson, best known as Terry from Reno: 911, will be voicing the lead character in a new animated show called Gay Robot. No further commentary necessary.

“Deathly Hallows” – Parts I & II

Variety reports that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be made into two movies, with the second to be released 6 months after the first.

For those not familiar with the books (no spoilers here), they keep getting bigger. By the fourth book, Goblet of Fire, Rowling was including enough material for two films. In fact, director Mike Newell was planning on splitting it when Alfonso Cuarón (director of Prisoner of Azkaban) convinced him it would be better to cut out tons of material and make one movie.

I was pissed, as were many (most?) other Potter fans. The movie turned out good, but when Order of the Phoenix was released, I think it became too obvious that subplots were missing, as well as chunks of the main plot. It felt very rushed.

So when I read that Hallows will be split I got pissed off again – because this means Half-Blood Prince won’t be split! Which only gives me 3 more shots at getting tickets to a premier and hitting on Emma Watson. Who, by the way, turns 18 next month. Just saying.

The most famous covert organization in the world.