The Day The Earth Stood Still: IMAX: Review (spoiler free)

Having seen the original, then the trailer for the remake, I came in with low expectations. I recommend you do the same. It got 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, which seemed a bit harsh after watching it. Then I remembered Rotten Tomatoes lists the percentage of critics who recommend the film. This is not a critic’s choice. I’m not sure this is even an average moviegoer’s choice. It’s simply better than we expected, which may say more about our expectations than the film.

The original is an absolute sci-fi classic. It was very easy to improve on the circa-1950 effects, and they did. However, even though this is billed as an IMAX movie, they don’t have any IMAX scenes; they just reformatted it for the bigger screen.

And even though the f/x are much better1, they don’t make up for the changes to the characters’ personalities. The boy, played by Jayden Smith, went from likable to slappable. As for the alien visitor Klaatu, played by Keanu Reeves, well, they removed his personality altogether. To quote Ebert:

He is so solemn, detached and uninvolved he makes Mr. Spock look like Hunter S. Thompson at closing time.

The acting is fine throughout (assuming Smith and Reeves were told to act annoying and wooden, respectively), but solid performances and nice effects can’t save it from bad characterization and plot holes. One of the dangers of making a film more realistic and up to date is that it invites more scrutinizing; unless you’re really thorough, the audience can see the holes better. These guys weren’t so thorough.

Again, the original is a true classic, currently #197 on the IMDB Top 250. For the $17 I spent on the IMAX ticket (plus gas), I could have bought a copy of the original on Blu-ray. I suggest you do that instead.

At Amazon:
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Special Edition) [Blu-ray] (1951)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Two-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] (1951)

  1. For instance, you can’t see wires holding Gort’s arms up []

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 14

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 14 of the 1972 Fischer – Spassky World Chess Championship Match.

Game 14, August 15th, 1972

    Fischer        Spassky
    White          Black
    (ar)  (0:07)   (ar)  (-:01)
 1. c4    (0:07)
(Spassky appeared one minute before the game was to start.  By the time Fischer arrived and made his move, Spassky had left and did not return until 3 minutes later.)
                  (ar)  (0:03)
 1.                e6    (0:04)
 2. Nf3   (0:07)   d5
 3. d4    (0:08)   Nf6   (0:05)
 4. Nc3   (0:08)   Be7   (0:05)
 5. Bf4   (0:08)   0-0   (0:11)
 6. e3    (0:08)   c5    (0:14)
 7. dxc5  (0:08)   Nc6   (0:15)
 8. cxd5  (0:09)   exd5  (0:20)
 9. Be2   (0:09)   Bxc5  (0:20)
10. 0-0   (0:09)   Be6   (0:23)
11. Rc1   (0:11)         (0:27)
(Spassky was gone for 4 minutes and so took only 9 minutes for his 11th.)
11. ...            Rc8   (0:36)
12. a3    (0:12)   h6    (0:47)
13. Bg3   (0:16)   Bb6   (0:56)
14. Ne5   (0:24)   Ne7   (1:08)
15. Na4   (0:45)   Ne4   (1:17) Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 14

X-Files: I Want To Believe (Spoiler-free)

When the movie was released over the summer, I was a little surprised by the lack of interest. I realize it had been 10 years since the original movie and 6 years since the series ended1, but I would have thought the lack of material would have raised interest. I can only guess that the trailer did a poor job selling it because the poster had people talking.

For me, the marketing made no difference. I simply thought: I’ve already watched about 150 hours of X-Files – why would I stop short of what could be the final 2? This is the basis for my recommendation; if that’s not good enough for you, well, OK.

Now it’s available on Blu-ray and I’ve finally seen it – the extended cut, no less. It turns out I wasn’t prepared. I forgot a lot about the series. I watched it with a friend who had also seen the series, and we were expecting closure on topics like Mulder’s alien-abducted sister, conspiracy plots, etc. There is almost none of that in the film. It’s pretty much a standalone episode with a little “where are they now?” thrown in. I felt like I was shorted.

Then I visited Wikipedia to research a couple references I didn’t fully remember. This was, uh, enlightening. As it turns out, just about everything I wanted closure on I had already gotten – in the series. I just forgot it all.

So if you’re going to watch this, but like me haven’t give the show much thought in the last 6 years, do a little pre-reading on Wikipedia.2 Reading the main X-Files article will obviously help, but if you’re short on time, there are two character histories that will save you a couple major “Wait… what???” moments: Fox’s sister Samantha Mulder and Baby William.

Once you do that, and you go in with the mindset of “cool, I’m getting one last standalone bonus episode” then seeing I Want To Believe won’t be a big disappointment.

And “one last” sadly seems to be the case. Chris Carter said that if this was a big success he’d make another X-Files movie about the foretold alien invasion of earth in 2012. Obviously, that would be very cool. Unfortunately, judging from the IMDB box office numbers, IWTB was less a big success and more a “let’s hope this thing breaks even after DVD sales”.

Where to next?
So it looks like this is really the end, as The Lone Gunmen didn’t exactly take off.3 My recommendation: Bones.

It’s about a female doctor (Temperance Brennan, aka Bones, a forensic anthropologist rooted in hard science and skepticism) partners with a male FBI agent (Seely Booth, who relies on psychology and hunches) to solve homicides. There is constant sexual tension between the partners, but no gratification. Heck, they even made Booth Catholic. It may not be X-Files, but it’s as close as you’re gonna get.

At Amazon:

The X-Files Store
The Bones Store

  1. And mostly without Mulder and Scully for the last two seasons []
  2. Alternately, the DVD (or at least the Blu-ray) has an exhaustive episode recap for every episode in the series, plus a video clip for each. You can go through it and get really caught up, but it will take you hours. At that point, you may want to rewatch the whole series. It’ll only take you an hour a day for 6 months. []
  3. Thinking about TLG pisses me off. I postulate that it would have been fantastic if it carried the dramatic tone and conspiratorial plot of X-Files instead trying to turn it into a screwball comedy. They were my favorite characters on the X-Files but were turned into complete jokes on their own series. The episodes were mostly standalone – and goofy, yet these guys were the kings of conspiracy! What happened to The Lone Gunmen was a creative tragedy that could have been easily avoided. []

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 10

This article lists the times spent by Fischer and Spassky on the moves of the 10th game of their 1972 World Chess Championship Match in Reykjavic, Iceland.

Game 10, August 3-4, 1972

    Fischer          Spassky
    White            Black
    (ar)   (0:07)
 1. e4     (0:08)    e5    (0:05)
 2. Nf3    (0:08)    Nc6   (0:05)
 3. Bb5    (0:08)    a6    (0:05)
 4. Ba4    (0:09)    Nf6   (0:06)
 5. 0-0    (0:09)    Be7   (0:06)
 6. Re1              b5
 7. Bb3              d6
 8. c3               0-0
 9. h3     (0:10)    Nb8   (0:07)
10. d4     (0:15)    Nbd7  (0:09)
11. Nbd2   (0:15)    Bb7   (0:12)
12. Bc2    (0:15)    Re8   (0:14)
13. b4     (0:16)    Bf8   (0:32)
14. a4     (0:18)    Nb6   (0:39)
15. a5     (0:26)    Nbd7  (0:41) Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 10

A Lifetime Of Delusions

I’ve been hearing radio commercials for something called Flirting With Forty starring Heather Locklear. It is, unsurprisingly, a Lifetime movie. According to the commercials, Locklear plays a lonely single mom who just turned 40 (even though Locklear is 47). While on vacation, she meets a much younger guy who’s all over her. Apparently, in Lifetime movies, this is how guys in their late 20’s think:

She’s 13 years older than me AND she’s got kids? Sounds a little too good to be true. There’s gotta be a catch! But I’ll stick with her and show her complete devotion until the other shoe drops. Seriously, though, how can she be single? Her husband must’ve died hours ago…

Lifetime is the female equivalent of the Spice Channel.

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman: Review

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman I started reviewing Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs a while ago. It got so long I decided I could write a series of posts on or inspired by the book. Like anything that ambitious, I eventually realized it’s too much work and I should just write a succinct review. I just tried that and I still fell short. See, my aim is to get you to buy the book, and just not for the pennies I might get from an affiliate sale, but because I think it’s awesome. So here’s why you need to buy it:
  1. It’s laugh out loud funny and never boring.
  2. It’s insightful on many interesting topics, assuming you find our culture remotely interesting.
  3. Its chapters are pretty unrelated, and broken into subchapters and sidebars, so you can pick it up and put it down easily.
  4. Wherever you go with it, people ask you about it. Often female people. It makes you look cool (or at least interesting).

Basically, if you know anyone like me, buy it for them for Christmas or Hanukkah or something. They will love it.1

If you’re still not sold, here’s an excerpt I feel is fairly representative:

My obsession with serial killers began when I was ten years old. My fourth-grade teacher told our class that we should never hitchhike, because the only people who picked up hitchhikers were perverted serial killers. This advice was complicated by what my fifth-grade teacher told us the following year; she said that we would all have driver’s licenses in a few years, and the one rule we always needed to remember was never to pick up hitchhikers. This was because all the hitchhikers were serial killers. According to what I learned in public school, every person on every freeway was trolling for destruction. I used to imagine nomadic, sadistic drifters thumbing rides with bloodthirsty Volkswagen owners, both desperately waiting for the first opportunity to kill each other. Hitchhiking seemed like an ultraviolent race against time.

  1. Thanks again, Doubledeuce! []

And I Jizz In My Pants

I finally saw the last SNL and the highlight was the Lonely Island music video Jizz In My Pants. Not terribly safe for most corporate environments, but the funniest video since Dick In A Box. This one stars Andy Samberg and Lonely Island cohort Jorma Taccone, with cameos from Justin Timberlake, Molly Sims, and Jamie-Lynn Sigler. I guess she’s in NYC visiting Turtle.

Also worth checking out are these tips on talking to girls, offered by a 9 year old. They were startlingly accurate:

If you liked those, check out these other Lonely Island and SNL videos.

Decoding The Personals

Wherein we suffer through the personal ads so you don’t have to. The phrases are all from personal ads; the translations are mine. Feel free to add or amend.

Sensitive: Will cry at the drop of a hat.

Upbeat: Takes antidepressants.

Healthy: Herpes in remission.

Lonely: Needy.

Smart: Doesn’t use hairspray in pits, brush with KY Jelly.

Intelligent: Can and will misquote Shakespeare for all occasions.

Sleepless In…: Has seen too many Nora Ephron movies to be trusted.

Romantic: Spend lots, spend often, or else.

Enjoys Finer Things In Life: And you thought “Romantic” was expensive.

Spiritual: Will latch onto every New Age trend du jour; owns extensive self-help library. Has crystals collecting dust atop Celestine Prophecy in closet.

Sincere: Self-absorbed as hell, but coated in a veneer of “caring.” Makes eye contact, nods appreciatively. Big whoop.

Serious Replies Only: Marry me, or else. These are the people who, after a one-night stand, will tearfully exclaim, “But I thought we were going to get married!” Continue reading Decoding The Personals

The most famous covert organization in the world.