From the Cracked team comes an article on the unlucky seven – seven people with the worst luck in history.
Transforminators: Roll Out!
Damn Transforminators! You’ll get my sand when you take it from my cold, dead hands!
Archie Engaged to Veronica
After a 67-year courtship, Archie finally buys the cow (when he was getting milk from two cows for free). Most thought he’d end up with Betty, the hot blonde next door. Instead, Archie chose the hot, rich brunette who’s into anal.1 So, yeah, big surprise there.
- C’mon, I think we can all agree it’s implied. [↩]
Reaper Canceled
Oh, f*ck me. CW has canceled Reaper, one of my favorite shows. There are rumors it may get moved to cable; SyFy seems interested, and you can email them. There is also a good chance it could live on in syndication. I don’t mean reruns (off-network syndication), I mean first-run syndication, where the affiliate stations buy the show directly. If you want this to happen, email your local CW affiliate and ask them to buy it in syndication so we can have a third season. (If you’re in SoCal, here’s the form to email KTLA.) Normally I just rant on my blog about a cancellation without doing anything about it, because the situation usually looks hopeless. But this time there’s actually a good chance of a pickup.1
If you’ve never seen Reaper, it’s a very fun show; Kevin Smith directed the pilot and acts as a consultant. The cast is really solid with no weak spots. In particular, Ray Wise as the devil does a fantastic job of intimidating the hell out of everyone. And Missy Peregrym is just hot.
Hopefully I’ve piqued your curiosity enough to pick it up on DVD or rent it from Netflix.
- This seems to be happening more often, with ABC picking up Scrubs from NBC, and CBS picking up Medium. [↩]
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Canceled; Dollhouse Renewed
It’s official, Fox has terminated Sarah Connor. There were rumors that Terminator: Salvation would reinvigorate interest in the series, but the bastards say it costs too much. So no more Summer Glau, Lena Headey, Stephanie Jacobsen, or Leven Rambin. At least not in one place. Stephanie Jacobsen will be playing a call-girl/med school student on the new Melrose Place. For the rest, the future is unclear. As unclear as that annoying, cliffhanger ending (which was actually great until the show was canceled). At this point, I’d be thrilled by a 2 hour special tying up the loose ends and clearing up the confusion.
On the bright side, Dollhouse has been renewed, albeit at on a lower budget. It’s a decent show, but I can’t help thinking I liked Terminator better. Heck, I liked Firefly way better.
Banned in China!
Update: See the comments for more details and links to learn about the Great Firewall of China and how to test your site.
Update 2: We are no longer banned!
I started tracking stats on Google Analytics about a year ago. Since that time, over 36,000 people have visited the site (thanks!). Of that 36,000, only one person was in China. One! I think I can safely say we’ve been banned, locked out of the Great Firewall of China. I wonder if it’s the words “covert organization” or “free speech” that is keeping us out. I must say, I am pretty proud that we’re the first result when Googling “covert organization” – with or without the quotes. Great success!
Full Disclosure: There are about 21 countries on Google’s global map for which we have zero visits (versus 170 countries that have stopped by). But I’m pretty sure none of those 21 have 1.3 billion people.
Movie Roundup (spoiler-free)
I’m lazy, so here are some 30-second movie reviews:
Star Trek: The IMAX Experience – First, there’s no reason to see this in IMAX, as there are no large format shots like in The Dark Knight. Second, keep in mind that I’m a Star Trek fan (I’ve seen all the movies, and even every episode of Voyager and Enterprise), but not a scholar. The movie starts out great, but as I saw more changes to the original storyline, I started questioning the writers’ choices. There are a few silly decisions for plot purposes, too. But overall, a good film, even if I’m not sure I agree with its immediate jump to #62 on the IMDB all time best list.
Angels and Demons – Starts out a bit slow, and a bit of the same old, same old. A lot like Davinci Code, but I think Davinci was more consistently paced (if significantly more blasphemous). By the third act I was hooked, though, and overall I thought it was decent.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – I liked this, even though I had the same issue I wrote about last year. And in addition to the wrong sized actors, they take liberties with Wolverine’s official origin story. That said, Hugh Jackman, Liev Shreiber, Danny Huston, and Ryan Reynolds give solid performances. The rest of the supporting cast, however, doesn’t add much. If you like Wolverine, I’ve got good news: there will be four more X-Men films. They include a Wolverine sequel1, a Magneto origin, a Deadpool origin, and X-Men: First Class, which I assume to be the first group of mutants taught at Xavier’s School for the Gifted. In other words, an X-Men origin.
- Working title: Wolverine Does Japan [↩]
Angels and Demons: are they real? (Part 2)
Well, the answer to the titular question would be yes, for if you believe in angels then you must also believe in their counterparts, the demons. And of course if you don’t have a spiritual bent, then this whole article is moot and you can just skip it and go see the new movie. I suppose this is similar to watching the Star Wars movies: I don’t believe in The Force powering up the Jedi Knights, but it sure makes for an entertaining 2 hours at the cinema.
But if you do believe, as I do, then let me get back to the discussion we started in part 1. I am going to relate the first part of the argument that was started so long ago in the back of a church bulletin:
(Read 1 Timothy 4:1-5)1 This passage describes the great Apostasy that is to come. Do you think the Bible teaches that Demons are active? Why don’t we hear much about Demons here in the United States?
The scripture passage is copied here, for your convenience (verses 1-2):
But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
Well, I think the Bible has tons of passages showing that Demons are active. Even without a Bible degree, I recall a couple of times in the old days when people would foam at the mouth and throw themselves into fires, while under the influence of demons. In today’s newspapers, there are plenty of stories of people doing similarly unexplainable things (like killing their entire families or trying to kill all of their co-workers). So if the equation is demons = crazy behavior then we can safely say that demons are still active. But why don’t we hear more about them in today’s world?? How come the angels grab all of the attention and show up in all the movies and books and holiday cards?2
As I said earlier, if you believe in Angels, then you must also believe in Demons. I believe that you don’t see much demon activity because we do live in a society ruled by science, which has disproven the existence of demons (if you could ever prove a negative, which a lot of experts believe is a lot harder than we think). If our society no longer believes in demons, then you can be sure that they have a lot more flexibility to act in our daily lives. If you have ever found yourself in a terribly emotional state (rage, depression, etc.) then who is pushing the chemicals and hormones around in our brain?? Could someone be pressing on your adrenal gland at just the right time?? If our bodies are masses of cells, what leads them to start behaving in some fashion that we have not initiated with our mind??
I’ll play the rational scientist and respond that our bodies have been conditioned to pump hormones into our bodies at times when our very existence is threatened. Quick, get that adrenalin shot in your system so that you can outrun a woolly mammoth and survive to procreate another day !! So when we are in a situation that demands action, our bodies sometimes respond inappropriately and send the chemicals flying into our bodies, possibly making us go cuckoo and go grabbing for the nearest blunt object, projectile weapon, etc. But as I recall, we also have been programmed for “fight or flight” so why is it that most of the time we take this 50-50 choice and go for “fight” against our very loved ones??
Who pushed the balance to the side that drives us to want to ram our truck into our neighbor’s house because his dog will never quit yapping?? That’s the “fighting” side that’s winning.
I’ll stop here, but if you want to read verses 3-5 of the Bible verse go ahead. It is even more apropos since it talks about men advancing the cause of Demons by spouting heresy3 or in the case of the movie “Angels and Demons” by spouting half-baked ideas about secret societies and giving it the veneer of truth. This is OK when a movie bills itself as escapist entertainment, but the film-makers have gone out of their way to give credence to the theories in the film; this helps the box-office but it does not advance the cause of truth. And you thought Chariots of the Gods in the 1970’s was a hoot; this new film goes one better.
Angels don’t have a prayer when you have CGI on your side.
Stay tuned for Part 3: Demons, a distressing spirit.
- This would be in the Bible, of course [↩]
- Beelzebub wishes you Happy Holidays — now there’s a card I’d like to send a friend [↩]
- In this case the issue was abolishing marriage and incorrectly having to abstain from sinful foods — more reason to skip the cheesecake tonight. But go ahead and propose to your girlfriend; it’s OK [↩]
Dr. Ronald Chevalier
Dr. Ronald Chevalier, author of all 10 Cyborg Harpies trilogies, invites you to his web sanctum. I especially enjoyed his pre-pubescent works in the gallery. Here are some videos to better prepare yourself for Dr. Chevalier’s unique style. Remember, always protect your precious seed.
The Art of Relaxating
The Art of Inspiring Oneself
Munchkin: The Card Game
I just had an awesome time playing Munchkin, a card game that humorously pokes fun at Dungeons and Dragons. There are cards for races, classes, gear, buffs, curses, and, of course, monsters. Players race to be the first to get to level 10 by defeating monsters with your cards or selling gear to buy levels. Players can gang up to fight monsters they wouldn’t normally be able to defeat, which can lead to much shrewd negotiation. The flip side is that since the first player(s) to hit 10 win – thus ending the game – there is a lot of incentive to gang up on the strongest players to keep them from winning. Alliances are made and broken from turn to turn. In this respect, I hear it’s great for those who love Survivor.
We had 5 players and the game lasted about 4 hours; this included learning the rules. It starts out deceptively slow (partly due to so many new players), but as the game progresses you get more cards in play, accelerating your leveling. As a counter balance, the playing field is leveled whenever someone gets ahead, as everyone teams up to knock him down a few pegs. I have to say this is one of the most balanced games out there. I got to level 9 twice and was knocked down each time. Another player was wiped out a few times, but at the end was one of a few players tied at 9.
I highly recommend it, even if you’re not a regular player of D&D.1 A lot of the humor is based on generic fantasy settings,2 so if you liked Lord of the Rings – or better yet, Monty Python and the Holy Grail – you’ll have fun. If you don’t like the setting at all, there are pirate, gothic horror, space opera/sci-fi, espionage/007/MI, spaghetti western, martial arts, superhero, and even Cthulu themes! The themes can be combined for you genre-benders out there. Remember those westerns where, for some ridiculous reason, a samurai shows up? You can do that!
One caveat: some of the humor is adult-oriented. It sounds perfect for spirited family competition until you need to explain the jokes about altar boys and knee pads and hey kids! let’s see what the excitement is about those German board games!
The game and expansion packs (I think we used 1-4) at Amazon:
Munchkin
Munchkin 2: Unnatural Axe
Munchkin 3: Clerical Errors
Munchkin 4: The Need for Steed
Munchkin 5: De-Ranged
Munchkin 6: Demented Dungeons
Munchkin 1-6 Value Pack
Munchkin 7: More Good Cards