Category Archives: Television

Your New Fall Television Schedule

The fall television schedule is out, and I have done you a big favor and listed the shows you will be watching. I do this out of love.

Sunday  
8:00 The Simpsons (9/23)
8:30 King of the Hill (9/23)
9:00 The Family Guy (9/23)
9:30 American Dad (9/30)
10:00 Curb Your Enthusiasm (9/9) The only reason not to cancel HBO, but it’s a pretty great reason. The last season finale looked like a series finale, so this was a pleasant surprise. And the season premier had Larry in top form.

Monday
   
8:00 Chuck (9/24) Looks like The 40 Year Old Virgin meets Alias, but could be a big lump of crap. Not sure yet.
8:30 The Big Bang Theory (9/24) 2 geeks and a hottie. My guess is that the geek humor won’t be true geek humor, but what an English major with no geeky friends thinks geek humor is. In other words, a vehicle for "normal" people to laugh at geeks. Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it.
9:00 Heroes (9/24)  
9:30 Rules of Engagement (9/24) Two couples and their single friend (David Spade). Looks kinda funny; hopefully it’s another Just Shoot Me. If you don’t have a way of watching/recording two shows, obviously you’ll have to drop this for Heroes.
10:00 Journeyman (9/24) This looks seriously cool, if only because it stars Lucius Vorenus from Rome. And if you haven’t seen Rome, get it on DVD. An incredible $100M+ production, with no shortage of sex, violence, and damn good writing and acting.

Tuesday
   
8:00 Bones (9/25) If you’re short on time, you can skip this. It’s not as cool as X-Files, or as well written as House, but it’s alright.
9:00 House (9/25) The season finale was a big "WTF???" so this is highly anticipated. I’m hoping the new staff is filled by any number of out of work TV hotties: Elisha Cuthbert, Catherine Bell, Eliza Dushku, Jeri Ryan, Jolene Blaylock, Lucy Liu, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mila Kunis (voice work doesn’t count), or Laura Prepon. With David Cross playing an analyst-therapist (or analrapist, as they’re known in the medical field).
9:00 Reaper (9/25) I initially wrote this off after reading the synopsis: a comedy about a guy who’s parents sold his soul to the devil, so he now has to work for him as a bounty hunter. It’s on the CW, and I was never into Buffy or Angel or Supernatural. But I just found out the pilot is being directed by Kevin Smith, so at least the first episode will be worth watching.

Wednesday
   
8:00 Pushing Daisies (10/3) Jury’s out on this, too. I do like the concept of a guy who can bring back the dead, but only uses that power to pick up some extra cash. It just screams underachiever.
9:00 Bionic Woman (9/26)  

Thursday
   
8:00 Smallville (9/27) Is Lana alive?!? Wait, don’t answer that!
8:00 Scrubs (10/25) Final season 🙁
8:30 30 Rock (10/4) If you weren’t impressed at the start of last season, this got way funnier as the season progressed. And Catrina Bowden is crazy hot.
9:00 The Office (9/27)  
10:00 It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (9/13) Two episode premier!

Friday
   
8:00 Next Great American Band (10/19) Produced and written (the scripted parts, at least) by The Crack Team’s own Agent Mystery! Destined to be the best show on television, winning multiple Emmys and getting all team members of The Crack Team totally laid (details pending, but it will probably involve groupies, mistaken identities, and shenanigans). Click the link to check out the Agent Hulagun-designed MySpace page.
9:00 Moonlight (9/28) Alternate title: Count Dracula, Private Eye. Eh, it’s vampires, so I’m in it for the goth chicks.

Jekyll

With so few good shows on television during the summer months, I’ve been looking around for things I’ve missed, especially scanning the “free on demand” features of Time Warner. In doing so, I just discovered Jekyll, a new show on BBC America.

It’s written by Stephen Moffat who brought us Coupling, which I loved until the character Jeff left; then it just wasn’t the same. Jekyll also features Gina Bellman, who played Jane.

Jekyll is nothing like Coupling, however. As you probably guessed from the name, it’s a modern retelling of the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde story. It has the feel of a thriller/conspiracy piece, albeit with some funny lines thrown in (and the ridiculously conspicuous black vans are unintentionally hilarious).

Anyway, it’s rather entertaining so far, even though I think Americans are getting made fun of a bit through the token American character (who I’m pretty sure is a Brit doing an American accent). I’ve only seen 2 episodes, but it looks like there are only 6 and no word of a second season. So think of it as a good miniseries, something to help kill time during the summer months and keep you safe from exercise.

Kwik-E-Mart


For the Simpsons movie, several 7-11s have been converted to Kwik-E-Marts. Finally, a reason to go to Burbank! And there’s one in LA, too. They’ve got all sorts of cool Simpsons products, like Frosted Krusty-Os, Squishees, Buzz Cola, and doughnuts with pink frosting and sprinkles. If they have half a brain, they’ll stay like that forever. The page for the photo set lists several other locations, so cross your fingers, maybe there’s one in your area of the country.

Clark and Michael Show

If you’ve got time to kill, check out the Clark and Michael show. Heard Kevin Smith recommending this on KROQ this morning. It’s Michael Cera from Arrested Development and Clark Duke from, apparently, the apartment next door. Amusing web show peppered with some brilliant lines:

[They] rested their balls on our chins and brushed our teeth with their dicks!

I cannot wait to use that line at work!

Replica Movie Costumes

AbbyShot is a company that makes replica costumes from famous movies (although not always in an official capacity, judging by the names, or lack thereof). Some interesting stuff. And you don’t have to wonder if you’d look silly in them. AbbyShot uses real scifi geeks as models, removing all guesswork!

If you’re hung up on Uma Thurman (and I know some of you are), you can get the jacket she wore in Kill Bill. They also have Neo’s coat from The Matrix, which looks really cool, but I’m concerned about the response I’d get if I tried to wear it. “Holy shit! Agent Smith ate Neo and stole his coat! You’re dead, you fuckin’ coat stealer!” pummel pummel pummel

No, they’ve got exactly one coat that I could pull off. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.