Category Archives: Humor

Fashion Tips For Women

I was reading Fashion tips for women from a guy
who knows dick about fashion
(NSFW), which is quite funny and true and cruel and still relevant, sadly. He attacks Crocs and “tittie curtains” and various other fashion trends, a few of which are (thankfully) rarely seen today (it was written in ’07). I thought I’d add to his work of scholarship.

First, I will echo his plea that women with low self esteem shouldn’t read this. Heck, any woman who knows me shouldn’t read this. But if you’ve got low self esteem, close your browser and go spend some quality time with someone who loves you for you. Really.
Continue reading Fashion Tips For Women

Hitler was amazing

ly evil.
Lately it seems every reference to wrongdoing is now compared to Hitler or at least one of his actions. It’s especially seen on the news. People believe that their point won’t be realized unless the reader/viewer comes to terms with the following:
If you disagree with me, you are pretty much a Nazi.
and it works. “I don’t want to be like Hitler! So I agree with you!”
Hitler. The go-to bad guy, king of the unholy.
Did he set the bar or what?
Osama Bin Ladin is like “helloooo, I’m blowing things up here! Compare something to me!”
Even Satan’s sighing “You know… once everyone blamed ME for all the evil in the world.”
Dude. Hitler gased and cooked millions of innocents, wanted to take over as much of the world as possible, and got much of his country to agree with his actions. Wow!
When it came to charisma, this dude rolled an 18 for sure.
Sorry Satan, but anything short of armageddon ain’t going to outshine Hitler’s life. Stop dancing around in that lame red ensemble, drop the pitchfork and get to work.
And Osama, look at you! at least Hilter knew the importance of grooming. Hitler was married to Eva Braun. She was hot!
Come on Osama. Hanging out in caves plotting with other men day after day, does nothing for your image.
All I’m saying is, when it came to evil, Hitler turned it up to eleven.
Hitler is to bad
like
golf balls are to hail.
Without him, there’d be no decent reference.
You gotta respect a guy for giving it his all.
Like it or not. He’s immortal.

YOU Want To Be My Facebook Friend???

So I can’t say that any former lovers, who ripped out my heart and ate it in front of me, have tried to friend me on Facebook. At least one girl I gave the brush-off to over and over has tried, but I can’t blame her – who could resist this pile of manliness? But I have had a couple people who I never got along with send a request. I keep thinking, “We never liked each other, we haven’t spoken in almost 2 decades – why are you trying to connect?”

Kate Miller-Heidke puts this sentiment in song, and much more eloquently than I have:

Zoe Saldana VS. Sonia Sotomayor

One is a prominent Latina female.   The other is trying to get into the Supreme Court. You be the judge as to who will have a longer lasting effect on the American people.

Sonia Sotomayor     VS.   Zoe Saldana

My vote is with Zoe.  She is from the Dominican Republic and is a living embodiment of the richness of African culture that came to the Caribbean and still influences the culture there. And she looks extremely hot in the Starfleet issue miniskirt and booties.  A worthy successor to the lovely Communications Officer, Lt. Nichelle Nichols, and I believe Zoe speaks fluent Spanish.

On the other hand, we have an outspoken, intelligent Latina female, Sonia Sotomayor.  She has been called a “racist”  by the right-wing but I do not concur.  From her isolated comments, I make her out to be more of a mysandrist1  But she is going into a Supreme Court slot that is being vacated by another liberal-leaner, Justice Souter, so her positions2 should not make much of a difference in upcoming court decisions.  She will be outspoken, though, so it will be nice to hear a strident counterpoint to the pontificating statements of conservative Justice Scalia.

My score: 

Zoe Saldana (1) for a fantastic Star Trek franchise debut.   

Sonia Sotomayor (-1) for inflamatory statements that were issued when she was not open to micro-scrutiny as she is now.   Once she gets coronated as a Justice, I’ll reset her at (0).     I’ll give her (+2) rightaway if she trounces Scalia at the weekly Supreme Court Poker game. 3

  1. Definition: a hater of males.  In this case, white males. []
  2. Normally, I would now digress into  positions held by Zoe Saldana, but I’m not familiar with her record  : )  []
  3. Always bet your hidden aces; do not try to trap or you’ll get your dream pair cracked by trip deuces or some such tripe []