Aquaman, King of the Seven Seas, has fucking had it with you, man.
Category Archives: Humor
Do The Duck Face!
Funny song with naughty words, but you’ll be safe at work with headphones. What’s especially sad are the girls who went for duck face, missed by a mile, and ended up on, “I think I just sharted.”
iPhone vs. HTC Evo 4g
This was made by software from Xtranormal that takes a script and turns it into an animated movie. Naughty language in this one, but hilarious. It’s a bit harsh on those iPhone fanboys (or girls?) who happen to be techno-ignorant, but I think the rest can appreciate it. Sent by iPhone owner Agent Avatar.
In Defense of Cuss Words
Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe cuss words are bad. They are considered rude language, vulgar, low-rent. And with good reason; they are only used when you run out of ideas, want to vent at someone or something or want to look tough in the eyes of someone even dumber than you. Cuss words are often used as the default adverb or adjective for any ocassion, and they replace words which have actual meaning1. So your language starts meaning less and less, when you use cuss words.
There’s even a club in Pasadena, CA that promotes the eradication of cuss words, and their membership is growing. And folks are taking to making up fake words that *sound* like cuss words so that they can avoid doing the nasty2.
But don’t judge them too harshly. There’s a reason ‘bad’ words are used today and were in use in Shakespeare’s time (although I don’t think he ever put anything too harsh in his works). They are a great substitute for *actually* punching someone/something out because you are mad/frustrated at some perceived slight. Think about it: primitive peoples chose some random sound and assigned it a ‘bad’ meaning, and agreed that using that sound would connote anger and pseudo-violence. So instead of fighting it out with the guy who cuts you off in the freeway, you can let a few cuss words fly and it has the same effect3
Continue reading In Defense of Cuss Words
- Remember how awful it was when people started using “Smurfy” instead of a real word? [↩]
- My favorite comes from Dahl’s move “The Amazing Mr. Fox” where the word “cuss” actually takes the place of a cuss word. Brilliant !! [↩]
- Well, sometimes words escalate into violence, but that’s not how it’s supposed to work. [↩]
OBGYN
NASA’s Dating Plans
Renegade points us to NASA’s latest romantic endeavors. From The Onion, so use headphones at work.
Wherein the queen confuses the Scarlett Witch with Emma Frost…
Funny or Die Best of 2009
Website Funny or Die posted their top 10 “must see” videos of 2009. 3 of these videos are actually must see, so I’m including them here:
Continue reading Funny or Die Best of 2009
Conservative Time-For-Tea
Time for a little break. So much going on at work, you tend to stay away from TV, movies and popular culture. But those who are blessed with a job1, however tenuously, should take a break and thank the Power-That-Be for the people responsible for these humorous asides:
Sarah Palin does a pretty credible job getting back at our old friend William Shatner. If Bill’s reaction is genuine surprise at her sudden appearance, then I am even more impressed with Bill’s acting abilities !! Someone really, really needs to get him in the Star Trek sequel quickly, before he joins Scotty and Bones in the big Starship in the Sky.
Oh, and by the way. Bill is a Canadian actor taking valuable Hollywood jobs away from US citizens. Can someone get the immigration problem in this country corrected? Too many Canadians are coming down to take our high-paying white-collar jobs in this country. Forget the Mexican border; folks down there are coming to take the lesser-paying jobs and will not affect your six-figure, professional position. It’s the Canadians that are the problem. And they look just like you and me so that they are harder to find and deport.
However, good going Conan. You are so good at this that I may start watching the Tonight Show again. I stayed away for the last 15 or so years, but I think the Show is in good, capable hands again. Can anyone tell me what happened to Triumph, the Insult Dog?2
Finally, I just have to mention this item that I read in the news about poor Tiger Woods. No more jokes, this is serious. Here’s the excerpt in the news from one of his supporters:
“One thing people don’t understand is that we’re human,” Heat guard Dwyane Wade said in Miami. “You’re not born with a menu on how not to do things wrong. You’re going to make mistakes like every human being.”
Actually Dwyane, there is a menu that you were given when you were small. It’s called The Bible. Sure it’s old and seemingly out-of-date or out-of-touch. It’s as old as Humanity, and it does seem to be in touch with the foibles and peccadillos that affect all of us, all of the time, since the beginning of time. I don’t think Mr. Woods is the first person that has ever cheated on his wife; plenty of those stories in the Bible. You may want to crack it open one of these days.