Great news! Christian Bale is set to play John Connor!
Horrible news! It’s being directed by McG.
🙁
I’m having flashbacks to when I learned there’d be a live action Transformers movie with the original Optimus Prime, but it’d be directed by Michael Bay.
Natalie Portman naked. Normally those words are used to drive gullible people to fraudulent web sites. In this case, those words will drive you to see The Darjeeling Limited before it leaves theaters.
The film is preceded by Hotel Chevalier, a short film starring Natalie and Jason Schwartzman. It provides a little backstory and context for the main film. It also provides you with an excellent reason to shell out $10.
I could make this review entirely about Natalie’s glorious visage. Forget launching a thousand ships; she could make Farrakhan convert to Judaism1. But anyone who’d find that a worthwhile read is already at Fandango looking up show times.
And it would be unfair to the film, which is worth $10 on its own. For the first two acts, I felt this was Wes Anderson’s best work since Rushmore. Intriguing characters, great humor. Fantastic visual storytelling with beautiful sets. I can easily see this receiving Oscar nominations for art direction and cinematography. And speaking of beauty, Natalie isn’t the only babe in film. We’re introduced to Amara Karan, Sri Lanka’s answer to Rosario Dawson. And there’s even some gorgeous Louis Vuitton luggage (or is it baggage?) that gets its own prominent credit.2
Beyond the visuals there are some great songs on the soundtrack3. Instead of an original score, it comprises songs from other Indian films along with some British invasion classics. In particular, the theme song (Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) by Peter Sarstedt) has been stuck in my head since I left the theater. It tells the tale of a girl from modest means who enters high society in 1960’s Paris. Very Holly Golightly, causing me to draw further parallels between Audrey Hepburn and Natalie Portman. It’s first played during Natalie’s brief appearance, and I’ll probably forever associate it with her. It’s a hauntingly beautiful song, but don’t take my word for it. Have a listen (and pay attention to the lyrics):
My only complaint about the film is that pacing seemed to slow quite a bit during the third act4 . It made the film feel longer than it was, even though the run time is only 91 minutes. I began to expect closing credits at the end of each scene. However, I must give it props for a fitting and highly metaphorical final scene. It just takes a little while to get there.
So for the very first time, I actually clicked on one of those text ads. It was on Facebook, and it was for a movie I hadn’t heard of called The Ten. I still have no idea how this got by me. It’s essentially from the The State/Stella, and stars Paul Rudd, Jessica Alba, Liev Schrieber, Rob Corddry, Gretchen Mol, Famke Janssen, and Oliver Platt. That’s a lot of people I like and/or lust after (I’m talkin’ to you, Paul Rudd). And I loved Wet Hot American Summer, which these guys also did. Anyway, it’s been in and out of theaters so add it to your Netflix queue. It’ll be released on DVD on 1/15/08.
I just read the cast listing of the new Star Trek film and my reaction was, “Holy shit. Really?” I knew it was a prequel directed by J.J. Abrams. I had no idea how much they were going to reinvent the show. Here’s the cast:
Bones will be played by Karl Urban. This is the first severe departure as Karl has mainly played big tough guys in Doom, Bourne Supremacy, The Chronicles of Riddick, Lord of the Rings, even Xena. When you think of Bones, you don’t actually picture a guy who could crush your bones:
Sulu will be played by John Cho, aka Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. He’s also the guy who introduced us to the term MILF in American Pie. But I don’t think he’s responsible for MILF Hunter. Anyway, not too big of a stretch. The real disappointment is that H&K2 won’t take place in Amsterdam. Lame.
Spock will be played by Zachary Quinto, Sylar from Heroes. Sylar is pretty emotionless, so he’s got practice, but I won’t be able to stop wondering when he’ll bash an alien in the head and steal its powers.
Scotty will be played by Simon Pegg. You of course remember him as Shaun of the Dead, and the super cop from Hot Fuzz. (If you didn’t see it, BTW, Hot Fuzz was awesome.) My first ignorant thought was, “But he’s not Scottish!” Then I remembered James Doohan was Canadian and faked the accent. This is my favorite casting; Simon Pegg kicks ass.
Well, everyone else is an unknown, except for Eric Bana who plays Nero. I’m assuming that’s the bad guy. He’s probably an alien gambler who turns into an unstoppable green monster when he loses money. And it looks like Nimoy will make an appearance as Old Spock. But I’m rather concerned, because I think Shatner is practically irreplaceable. It just occurred to me that Kirk is about as hard to cast as Batman. And by that logic, Christian Bale is the only choice to play him. If you can make an awesome Batman (best ever!), you can make an awesome Kirk. I just wish Abrams had asked me before he picked some random dude.
“3:10 to Yuma” is currently sitting at the #1 spot for movies I’ve liked this year.� This could possibly be because I don’t recall all that many movies but this seriously was one awesome movie.� There was some great dialog, some great action, and some great acting.� I’ll leave the real review to Agent Archangel but in case anyone was on the fence about this one… go see it!
I am really curious to see the original now as I hear that was also good.
So, yeah, this is late. I didn’t mean to wait this long, in fact I started this a while ago and just forgot about it. On the plus side, I’ve seen a lot more films since I started the piece. Unfortunately, that didn’t add much. I was going for the obvious top 10 list, but had trouble finding an obvious top 10. Then it hit me – I’ll just list the movies I loved. OK, I loved only two movies last year, but there were another 5 that I thought were awesome. 7’s a lucky number, so we’re going with that.
As usual, this post and all reviews I link to are completely spoiler-free.
Loved it!
Art School Confidential
Funny, insightful, wry. I didn’t go to art school, but this film portrays archetypes so I felt in on the joke the whole way through. Even if you just had an art department in your school, or have dealt with artists, you’ll know these characters. Maybe you are one. Certainly, many guys can relate to pursuing something grand just to get girls. It’s from Terry Zwigoff and Daniel Clowes, the creators of Ghost World, which I think was even better.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Do I really need to say anything about this one? Just make sure you watch the deleted scenes on the DVD (which looks like a bootleg disc from the eastern bloc equivalent of Memorex).
Awesome!
Casino Royale
Perhaps because I’m no expert in the early Bond films, I thought this was the best yet. Just read Masterchief’s review and the ensuing comments. Clearly, a movie near and dear to every Crack Team Agent in the field.
The Departed
A brilliant film that won all the major awards and deserved them. It’s really weird for a real man like me to admit liking the films of Leonardo DiCaprio, but his recent films – Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Blood Diamond, and Catch Me If You Can – have all been fantastic. Yes, of course, let’s credit Scorcese for most of that. Perhaps that will be Scorcese’s true legacy: the man who made DiCaprio less fruity. (Just kidding! Mostly. Stop yelling!)
Miami Vice
Another great film by Michael Mann, who gave it the Heat treatment. As Agent Renegade has often said, Heat is probably one of the most underrated (or perhaps under-appreciated) films of the last two decades. A tough, gritty film, very little like the series. I’d love to see this made into a franchise; we have so few action films of this quality, made for adults instead of 13 year olds.
V For Vendetta
Another film for us to enjoy and for author Alan Moore to get all pissed about and remove his name from. Strange and beautiful, which is also how I think of Natalie Portman. Again, read Masterchief’s review and ensuing comments for more, uh, commentary.
Idiocracy
This did not get near the credit it deserved. It is hilarious, and frighteningly insightful. It makes crazy fun of idiots, including idiot corporations, which is very likely what held it back. It’s directed by Mike Judge, and OK, it’s not Office Space, but practically nothing is. This is probably more laugh out loud funny, and there are scenes where you’ll hit pause and marvel at the image on the screen. I’m thinking especially of a city skyline that you won’t soon forget.
Really Good!
Blood Diamond
As Renegade said, it’s not a light evening’s entertainment, but it’s very well made. Like Hotel Rwanda, I felt enlightened when it was over. However, I also felt depressed. Surprisingly, it was not because of DiCaprio’s accent, which I thought was going to drive me nuts but didn’t. If you want to be further enlightened on the ridiculous diamond trade, Wired has a fascinating article about synthetic diamonds. In fact, if you get your girlfriend to see this movie and read that article, you’ll save a fortune on your engagement ring.
Children of Men
A film of great impact and craftsmanship. This would be in most people’s top 10, but I’m not most people. For me, it joins films like Requiem for a Dream that I’m glad I saw, but I’m unlikely ever to see again. This is because I’m never in a mood to be depressed. So I may never see films like The Pianist, House of Sand and Fog, or Babel, but don’t let that stop you! Clive Owen and Michael Caine were superb.
Clerks II
I’m sure a lot of you are surprised I didn’t put this up top, what with my vast collection of Kevin Smith t-shirts (pretty much all of them). And I thought this was hysterical, and still quote it. But it just didn’t have the impact many of his other films did, and it’s hard not to compare this to them.
Flags of Our Fathers
Letters from Iwo Jima
These were stories that had to be told. I wrote a full review of Flags, but never did one for Letters. They are companion pieces, so obviously it’d be a shame to see one and not the other.
Inside Man
An entertaining and clever caper movie. It’s rare when you’re rooting for both the good guy and the bad guy. Clive Owen kicks ass (obviously, and literally) and Denzel was Denzel, which is good enough for me.
Invincible
The feel-good movie of this list! Nicely captures the era and city, as I mentioned in my full review.
Little Miss Sunshine
Enjoyable, quirky film. Alan Arkin and Steve Carell really stand out.
Lucky Number Slevin
A complex but entertaining ganster/caper/comedy. Fun film, good cast. Did I mention Lucy Liu? She so cute…
Mission: Impossible III
Probably the best in the series. Directed by J.J. Abrams of Alias and Lost fame, and starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, one my generation’s greatest actors. Everyone else does a solid job, too.
Rocky Balboa
Just a great way to end a franchise. Fitting, realistic, and never sells out.
Superman Returns
Screw you, I liked this. OK, maybe I just love Superman, the archetypal superhero. You can read my full review, which includes a rather complete rundown of alternate casting.
Thank You for Smoking
Smart, witty comedy. I never felt like I was being lectured, even though I learned a few things. But the Katie Holmes sex scene got way too much hype for what it was, so don’t get your hopes up there.
AbbyShot is a company that makes replica costumes from famous movies (although not always in an official capacity, judging by the names, or lack thereof). Some interesting stuff. And you don’t have to wonder if you’d look silly in them. AbbyShot uses real scifi geeks as models, removing all guesswork!
If you’re hung up on Uma Thurman (and I know some of you are), you can get the jacket she wore in Kill Bill. They also have Neo’s coat from The Matrix, which looks really cool, but I’m concerned about the response I’d get if I tried to wear it. “Holy shit! Agent Smith ate Neo and stole his coat! You’re dead, you fuckin’ coat stealer!” pummel pummel pummel
No, they’ve got exactly one coat that I could pull off. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
While Kevin Smith inspired me to pursue filmmaking (albeit lazily and half-heartedly, with slightly less effort than I muster for breathing), I aspire to create movies like Judd Apatow’s. Knocked Up was awesome the whole way through. There are parts where Apatow just machine guns you with jokes, which are hilarious, because he had the balls to make it Rated R. Unsurprisingly, it’s already 163 on the IMDB Top 250. And man, is Katherine Heigl is hot (I call dibs. Sorry.). So if you were thinking of waiting for the DVD, aww, man, so sorry, ’cause you’re totally not doing that. ‘Cause I said so. And you’re welcome.
Here’s a humorous riff on Marvel’s movie obsession. If you read (between the lines of) Variety, you know that Marvel’s got so many movies in the works because former head Avi Arad has a serious producer fantasy. Probably from watching too much Entourage. Of course, it’s fairly common among captains of industry; same thing goes for other Mark Cuban and Jeff Skoll. Just become a billionaire and all your wildest entertainment industry dreams will come true. In a way, it’s the modern American equivalent of rich European merchants and land owners buying a royal title. Producer, Lord – it’s all the same thing. I haven’t seen anyone buy themselves a writer or director title, so I plan to be the first. Hopefully, it’s cheaper than producer.