This film is an exhausting exercise in style over substance. It has an 80’s undercurrent via music and 8-bit video games, but for no reason I could determine. As it opened, I thought that I might not be in the right theatre, but the title credit (done in super low-res graphics) confirmed it. When I walked out, I thought the writer/director came from video games. Turns out I’m not far off the mark. There are two of them, and both did visual f/x for Biker Boyz. This helps explain the shitty writing. So, ok, I laughed a few times. A few action sequences were decent. But I certainly don’t think that made it worth seeing. Ok, yes, Amy Smart looks amazing, and that’d be enough for some, but she also plays a very annoying character. You’d think that with a hitman for boyfriend, she’d be dead already (then again, she is really hot here).

Meanwhile, I still haven’t seen Little Miss Sunshine, The Illusionist, Hollywoodland, or heck, even Beerfest. Talk about salt in the wounds…

This is one of the most beautiful films I have seen in years. The cinematography of the settings, costumes, and of course, actresses, is simply stunning. I regret not having seen this on the big screen.

Even though this is a long film at 2:25, I felt the pacing was good and it never felt slow. Part of that may have been the cinematography; even if it lingered some some still shots, I would not have complained.

Now, Ebert didn’t review it all that highly. He claims it wasn’t for sociological reasons, but his review certainly sounds that way. Geishas were artists, yes, but they were also paid for their company. They were often sold into that lifestyle, and had no free will. Yes, that is obviously an objectable practice. He also called it melodramatic, which I guess it might be. Certainly when compared to many Japanese films, like Ozu’s Tokyo Story, which Ebert adores¹. But Memoirs is a film written, directed, and produced by Americans. In a way, it is a very American view of that period and lifestyle. To be fair, I could probably substitute “American” with “foreign” (Gaijin?) – the Geisha have been romanticized by many, even Gilbert and Sullivan (see Mike Leigh’s Topsy-Turvy). Is it fair to romanticize the selling of young girls into a life of prostitution, absent of free will? Certainly not to the Geishas. But for the typical movie audience, it makes for a much more enjoyable experience.

1. It was also a past Classic Movie Night selection, and was quite good, if a little, um, “subtle”. [↩]

I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It’s one of those where you’re sitting through most of it with a goofy grin on your face. It’s a feelgood movie, but you already knew that just from the trailer.

I have a soft spot for films set in the seventies, and this film does a great job evoking that era. It starts off painted in autumnal hues, set to Jim Croce’s I Got A Name. [1] We see working class South Philly of 1976, which probably hasn’t changed much in 30 years. Maybe it’s the whole city of brotherly love thing, but South Philly just seems a lot less scary than other working class neighborhoods. Perhaps Agents Mystery and Hulagun, former Philadelphia residents, will want to chime in.

I also have to say that I’ve warmed up to Marky Mark. He started out great as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights, but repeated that over-the-top, nice guy character ad nauseum. As Agent Assassin pointed out, now he’s not so over-the-top. It’s a big help. I also found myself thinking, “Wow, he’s buff here,” completely forgetting about the much buffer Funky Bunch-era Marky Mark. [2] It will come full circle when he plays a character that has audiences thinking, “Wow, who knew Mark Wahlberg could rap?”

He’s joined by the crazy hot Elizabeth Banks. You’ll remember her as Beth, the hot and crazy girl from The 40 Year Old Virgin, and Lindsay, the hot and crazy theatre director in Wet Hot American Summer. [3] She also plays the hot new doctor on Scrubs. I’d like to see a lot more of her, but Invincible is only rated PG. I’d cast her in one of my films, but unfortunately she’s married, which renders her inelligible.

Anyway, it’s a fun flick, and you can even bring the kids if you can’t find a sitter. They might not understand it, but at least they won’t be robbed of their innocence. Just leave that to Pop Warner.

[1] That song is also feature in soundtrack to the The Ice Storm, one of my all time favorite films.

[2] He needed to be huge back then to destroy hotel rooms and beat up gay people.

[3] Which is hilarious, just ask Hulagun.

So I could think of all sorts of fruity wordplay for this review, but the movie doesn’t mess around so neither will I. It just kicks ass. Now it does take some time to set up relationships between Crocket and Tubbs and their lady friends. Michael Mann doesn’t rush through that part, but he makes up for it with boobies, and more importantly later on, guns capable of removing limbs. The action scenes flat out rock; you do not want to wait for the DVD. See it somewhere with a great sound system and hear those .50s really sing. Ok, not so much sing as thunder – it pretty much sounded like lightning came down in the next seat over. [1]

It’s much more gritty and realistic than other action movies we’ve had lately (e.g., Mission: Impossible, which I also liked). It’s at the top, but not over the top. Yeah, it still has hot cars and boats and houses, but the series taught us 20 years ago that you need that crap to convince successful scumbags you’re just like them.

Just a reminder that Michael Mann directed Heat [2]. If you haven’t seen that lately, I can pretty much guarantee you it’s much better than you remember. It probably ranks up there as one of the most underrated action/cop/thrillers ever made. Miami Vice has the same intensity, although in different ways. Less touchy feely, more shooty stabby.

[1] And yet the burn mark was on my seat. Strange.
[2] And exec produced the Miami Vice television series.