I really wish they had shown this back when I worked at a nuclear power plant. It would have made me feel a bit more comfortable.
All posts by archangel
Memoirs of a Geisha: Review
This is one of the most beautiful films I have seen in years. The cinematography of the settings, costumes, and of course, actresses, is simply stunning. I regret not having seen this on the big screen.
Even though this is a long film at 2:25, I felt the pacing was good and it never felt slow. Part of that may have been the cinematography; even if it lingered some some still shots, I would not have complained.
Now, Ebert didn’t review it all that highly. He claims it wasn’t for sociological reasons, but his review certainly sounds that way. Geishas were artists, yes, but they were also paid for their company. They were often sold into that lifestyle, and had no free will. Yes, that is obviously an objectable practice. He also called it melodramatic, which I guess it might be. Certainly when compared to many Japanese films, like Ozu’s Tokyo Story, which Ebert adores1. But Memoirs is a film written, directed, and produced by Americans. In a way, it is a very American view of that period and lifestyle. To be fair, I could probably substitute “American” with “foreign” (Gaijin?) – the Geisha have been romanticized by many, even Gilbert and Sullivan (see Mike Leigh’s Topsy-Turvy). Is it fair to romanticize the selling of young girls into a life of prostitution, absent of free will? Certainly not to the Geishas. But for the typical movie audience, it makes for a much more enjoyable experience.
- It was also a past Classic Movie Night selection, and was quite good, if a little, um, “subtle”. [↩]
Carls Crappy Shakes
While Carls, Jr. is one of my favorite fast food joints, I just had one of their “hand scooped” ice cream shakes – cookies and cream – and it had NO flavor. In addition, the consistency led me to believe they simply take ice cream and add WATER instead of milk! Ugh. Just avoid.
Catching Up With a Decade of Comics (Gifted, Dangerous, House of M Reviews)
After watching X-Men: The Last Stand, I decided I wanted to catch up on changes to the comic book universe. I’ve been out of comics since the mid-nineties, when I graduated from college and moved out to SoCal. So I’ve missed almost a decade’s worth of stories. Gotta be something big that went down between then and now, right? The major stories should be nicely packaged in graphic novel format by now.
So I go down to my local comic book store to see what I could find. What I found, sitting behind the counter, was a guy who looked and dressed exactly like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. I shit you not: brown hair in a pony tail, goatee, overweight, wearing a t-shirt tucked into sweatshorts pulled up to his bellybutton. Surreal. I figured this would be the guy to talk to. I give him a rundown of the situation, figuring he won’t even know where to start. Actually, I was pretty sure he would know where to start. But he doesn’t. He tells me nothing really stands out when you look at the last ten years. Things are pretty much the same as I left them. I think, maybe it’s like when you talk to someone you haven’t heard from in a while, and nothing really stands out: same job, same house, same life – nope, nothing new to report. Oh, but it has been hot out, recently… Anyway, he points out a book that’s gotten good reviews, written by Joss Whedon of Firefly/Serenity fame. I pay the man and take it home.
About two pages into it I’m thinking, who’s the blonde bimbo sleeping with Scott Summers? Flipflip. She’s in charge of the school? Where’s Professor X? Flipflip. Flipflipflip. Where’s the hell is Professor X?
Those were exactly the kinds of changes I wanted to read about. So I jump into the Batmobile and make a bee line back to the store. “What’s the deal?” I ask Comic Book Guy. “You said nothing changed. Trust me, things have changed!” He sticks to his guns for few seconds before he breaks down and admits that running a comic book store doesn’t actually leave him time to read comics. He hadn’t read comics since Magneto was on trial for, I don’t know, being Jewish or something. It was before I got into comics, so he was useless to me.
Well, I was on my own, so I turned to the most reliable source of wisdom I knew of: Amazon reader reviews. I really want to support my local comic book store, but if they can’t give me the advice I need, then I don’t mind saving over 30% at Amazon. I mean, that comes to about $5 a book. Combined with my Amazon Prime trial, I get everything cheap, tax free, and delivered within 3 days. And so far, I haven’t been disappointed. Sure, you can’t flip through them, but I’m after the major stories everyone knows about and has enjoyed. Previewing usually has little effect on my purchase decision unless the art is truly sub par.
So I plowed ahead and bought some highly rated stuff, and over time I’ll be chiming in on them with short reviews, starting with these. I’m still not caught up with the stories, but I’m definitely impressed with the state of the art (litterally). The artists are fully utilizing digital ink and paint systems, to the point where they’re adding things like motion blur and depth of field. Yes, depth of field! In a comic book! Like I’ve said before, we’re living in the future.
The only complaint I have is the book bindings. No, they’re not falling apart, they’re actually bound too tightly. This is fine until you come across two-page spreads showing epic battles (House of M is full of these), and you can’t clearly or fully see the part where the pages meet. They need to use the lay-flat binding that O’Reilly uses for their computer books. That would work perfectly.
Gifted / Dangerous
These two books collect Astonishing X-Men 1-12. They’re written by Joss Whedon, so there’s a lot more humor than usual. One issue I had with Gifted is that X-Men: The Last Stand borrowed heavily from it, so there are many plot parallels (figures, the first book I buy has a storyline I’m already familar with). As soon as it’s released, I plan on picking up Torn, which collects issues 13-18.
House of M
This is HUGE, meaning world altering. Meaning it alters the current, mainstream Marvel universe instead of creating yet another alternate. It involves the X-men, Avengers (new, old, I really don’t know since I never read that series), Spiderman, and others. Also features Scarlett Witch, Magneto, and Quicksilver (at least they were baddies in the 90’s; nothing’s clear anymore). The art is pretty fantastic, IMHO. Without giving anything away, it’s a good place to start to see the state of the universe after certain super-powers have their way with it.
On the way:
- Decimation: X-Men – The Day After: follow-up to House of M
- X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga: Ok, this took place before I started reading comics, but is supposedly an all-time great and I’ve never read it.
If anyone has any suggestions, preferably in the mainstream Marvel or DC universes (I’ll get to non-superhero stuff later), I’d appreciate them!
Invincible: Spoiler Free Review
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It’s one of those where you’re sitting through most of it with a goofy grin on your face. It’s a feelgood movie, but you already knew that just from the trailer.
I have a soft spot for films set in the seventies, and this film does a great job evoking that era. It starts off painted in autumnal hues, set to Jim Croce’s I Got A Name. [1] We see working class South Philly of 1976, which probably hasn’t changed much in 30 years. Maybe it’s the whole city of brotherly love thing, but South Philly just seems a lot less scary than other working class neighborhoods. Perhaps Agents Mystery and Hulagun, former Philadelphia residents, will want to chime in.
I also have to say that I’ve warmed up to Marky Mark. He started out great as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights, but repeated that over-the-top, nice guy character ad nauseum. As Agent Assassin pointed out, now he’s not so over-the-top. It’s a big help. I also found myself thinking, “Wow, he’s buff here,” completely forgetting about the much buffer Funky Bunch-era Marky Mark. [2] It will come full circle when he plays a character that has audiences thinking, “Wow, who knew Mark Wahlberg could rap?”
He’s joined by the crazy hot Elizabeth Banks. You’ll remember her as Beth, the hot and crazy girl from The 40 Year Old Virgin, and Lindsay, the hot and crazy theatre director in Wet Hot American Summer. [3] She also plays the hot new doctor on Scrubs. I’d like to see a lot more of her, but Invincible is only rated PG. I’d cast her in one of my films, but unfortunately she’s married, which renders her inelligible.
Anyway, it’s a fun flick, and you can even bring the kids if you can’t find a sitter. They might not understand it, but at least they won’t be robbed of their innocence. Just leave that to Pop Warner.
[1] That song is also feature in soundtrack to the The Ice Storm, one of my all time favorite films.
[2] He needed to be huge back then to destroy hotel rooms and beat up gay people.
[3] Which is hilarious, just ask Hulagun.
Survivor Gets Racist
The next season of Survivor will be a social experiment involving race and ethnicity. The 4 starting tribes will be segregated racially/ethnically: whites vs. blacks vs. Asians vs. Hispanics. They claim this is a response to complaints that the show isn’t ethnically diverse enough, which in turn they blame on low numbers of minority applicants. [1]
Now, there’s something that Variety reported that most other news outlets (like Reuters, where so many places get their news) aren’t including. [2] Show runners Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst believe that, judging from past seasons, the tribes won’t stay together for very long. The most successful contestants will integrate with other races.
They also believe that the nature of the situation will cause contestants to ignore race. I mean, survival is at stake, right? Resources are scarce. You don’t know who you can trust. In some situations, you have to get by on your wits. In many others, might makes right. It’s an unfamilar environment, and a lot times, you’re just plain scared. All the while, the people in charge refuse to interfere unless someone needs medical attention, or they have some sadistic game they want to play.
If only there was some place, some sort of social institution that had similar conditions, which might give us some clue as to how this might turn out. But clearly none exists. Except, maybe… Nawww, that’d be an unfair comparison. Right? I mean…
Prison?
Of course! Now there’s a textbook example of how adversity destroys race lines! Walk into any prison today, and you’ll see race isn’t an issue. It’s a fucking rainbow coalition in there! Everyone working together to overcome adversity, completely color blind. It’s friggin’ inspirational, is what it is.
But some people aren’t so happy about this. The Hispanics seem to be the most outspoken against it. [3] Those upset seem to fall into two camps. The first is concerned that the burden of representing an ethnicity is unfairly placed on the 5 Hispanic contestants. Ok, that’s reasonable, the producers could easily game the system to make an ethnicity look good or bad, by casting more or less capable contestants. [4] Perhaps they’re concerned Mark Burnett took a pickup truck down to Home Depot and said (in Spanish), “The first 5 to hop in the back get $20 an hour!” Done and done.
The second camp is pissed that the bookies have set the odds at 3:1 against them. [gambling911.com [5]] My guess is that the bookies did some research and found out Burnett did not do casting at Home Depot, ’cause that tribe would kick everyone’s ass. And they’d all stick together, mainly due to the language barrier.
Still others have pointed out that, all of a sudden, the word “tribe” is starting to sound racially insensitive. This might explain why there’s no American Indian tribe: too obvious.
Well, I’m certainly curious as to how this will turn out. [6] To be honest, I think a really interesting experiment would be to start the teams out desegregated. Say, 5 teams of 5 (add in Middle Easterners), where each team has one person of each ethnicity. When the new tribes were formed, would they remain desegregated? I posit this: the producers were too chicken to find out.
[1] I’m not sure if they complainers are saying the Survivor casts’ ethnic makeup isn’t representative of society at large, or they just don’t know what “minority” means. For better or worse, the US is about 80% white, so for a cast of 20 you’d expect 16 whites and 4 non-whites. I’m not being racist, just crazy awesome at math.
[2] Which is why you should get all your news from The Crack Team.
[3] Unfortunately, I only have the media as a source.
[4] And I can almost guarantee that’s the first thing certain members of the losing race/ethnicity will claim.
[5] Motto: “Help, I can’t stop gambling!”
[6] Almost enough to finally watch an episode of Survivor.
Snakes On A Plane: Spoiler Free
Snakes on a Plane (SOAP) is a bad movie. You might have known that beforehand. But there is a chance you might have thought it was a thriller worthy of Samuel L. Jackson. Or perhaps even smart satire or a parody of B-movies. It is none of those things.
Instead, it is an updated version of an 80’s made-for-cable B-movie horror/thriller. Think along the lines of Andy Sidaris movies, but with less sex and more Samuel L. Jackson. You might not know the name Andy Sidaris, but if you ever surfed for boobies and ‘splosions on late-night premium cable during the 80’s, you’re familiar with his body of work. They included such gems as Malibu Express, Savage Beach, Picasso Trigger, and Guns. You probably get the picture just from the titles. If not, consider this: most of his actresses were Playboy Playmates.
So that’s what you should expect when you walk in to see SOAP. That’s not to say that SOAP isn’t entertaining – it is, if you’re prepared to laugh at it instead of with it. Not surprisingly, I found the opening-night crowd very into it, cheering in all the right places, which helped a lot. If you can find a good theatre or a bunch of guys who enjoy B-movie schlock, consider it time well spent. I still remember when Masterchief and I saw Species 2, laughing the entire time at how ridiculous it was. In my mind, that’s money better spent than on a comedy that doesn’t make you laugh, or an action flick that’s bad but not funny.
Stargate:SG-1 Cancelled
Details are in this Variety article. I didn’t realize it was the longest running SciFi show in TV history. Not sure who still watches it (I’ve seen maybe 3 episodes), but my condolences.
The Joy of Children
There’s a moral to this story. And it’s hilarious.
Is Tower Falling?
Variety reports that Tower Records can’t pay its bills. So labels are holding off on sending it new stuff, which will probably make things worse, since new releases are typically the only CDs Tower sells at a reasonable price.
This is really about the death of the record store. I had been noticing the dwindling of the independent record store and small chains for years: Moby Disc, Penny Lane, Pyramid Music. (While I’m pointing out cool places, I see Poobah’s is still alive.)
And you know what? I’m to blame. Since subscribing to Rhapsody, I haven’t bought anything from a record store. Because when I step into a record store now, I feel nothing. No excitement, no sense of wonderment. Pretty much any music I want I can get on Rhapsody, and if I can’t get it, I’ll just browse and find something else I want. I took my first trip to Amoeba Music the other day, which in my college years would have been nothing short of a religious experience (just ask ZBalance). But I just looked around and thought, why bother? I can get all this stuff on-demand for my $10/month. Amoeba has a great DVD section, too, but I’ve got Netflix, so that does nothing for me, either.
Here’s the tricky part. As Rob Gordon might say, I’m a better “professional appreciator” because of it. I can find cool new things much easier, and explore them in much greater depth. When I find a band or artist I like, I generally listen to their whole catalog, especially if they’re a known influencer. If it’s something I might not like, I can just take a quick listen, fast forwarding and skipping through parts or tracks I don’t want to hear. I have become the audio equivalent of Galactus: Devourer of Discs, Eater of Albums.
So what replaces the cool record store? A so-called “lifestyle store”, with cool books, clothes, posters, toys, and other geegaws? Sounds almost like Urban Outfitters, now that I mention it. Still, it’s no Vintage Vinyl (which also appears to have passed on).