Here’s a very funny audio clip of comedian Tom Mabe freaking out a telemarketer.
All posts by archangel
TV in the Pipeline
Bionic Woman
The show is being redone by the producer/writer team that reinvented Battlestar Galactica. When I first heard about the changes to BSG, I had low expectations (Starbuck a woman???). But it turned out to be a great show. I have a feeling the same thing might happen here. Well, I don’t know if I’ll like it, but I expect to have low expectations after hearing the changes. A Variety article alluded to a reinvention so big, she might not even be a government super-agent. Just, like, a woman with a lot of shit to take care of. If so, not my cup o’ tea.
Bad Judge
Another judge show, but the first I might actually watch. At least once. Why? The judge will be Jon Lovitz, and he’ll be given free reign to preside over real cases. I’ve always liked his stuff – enjoyed his recent standup, liked his SNL characters, and loved The Critic. Let’s see how good he is unscripted.
Entourage: The Later Years
Ok, so that’s not the real name. Entourage creator Doug Ellin is working on a new show that’s supposed to answer the question, “What happens when the Entourage guys grow up?” Except it’s not in Socal, it’s in NY. And, oh yeah, he’s not an actor, he’s a Wall Street trader. The fact is, you don’t want to see a show about Vinnie Chase, day trader. But you wouldn’t mind watching the Wall Street version of Ari Gold – that would make a show.
MySpace Photo Guide
After analyzing photos on places like MySpace, I created a profile pic that was dark and grainy, taken at an extreme angle using a cell phone camera and a mirror. Here is a handy photo guide to explain what all that means. It may not be safe for work. Thanks to Agent ZBalance for forwarding this to me.
Diedrich Sells Out
Life is not fair. It is just not friggin fair. I just found out that Diedrich Coffee is selling 40 of its 47 company-owned stores. To Starbucks! First they buy Seattle’s Best Coffee, now Diedrich. It’s a cryin’ shame.
Starbucks plans to assimilate all the stores and regular employees. Managers will be invited to apply for assimilation. At least with SBC, the stores were left untouched. I’m guessing this is due in part to the fact that they’re both Seattle-based based companies, and the good, independent-minded people of Seattle wouldn’t stand for it (i.e., they’d be a slight public-relations nuissance). But more importantly, Starbucks bought the entire SBC corporation. In Diedrich’s case, they’re only buying (most of) the stores, so there will still be a few operated by Diedrich and franchisees.
But you’re totally screwed if you’re in California! Two car dealer coffee kiosks are all that’s left. I am not making that up.
Unfortunately, this was a rather simple decision for Diedrich. They have two main businesses: wholesale coffee sales, and coffee shops. The former is profitable, and the latter is not. They’ve been posting losses, mainly due to their coffee shops. Since they’re a public corporation, their duty is to maximize value to their shareholders. Ergo, they sold out like Metallica.
This hits me particularly hard because I’ve always harbored a fantasy that I might one day own my own coffee shop. If a major chain like Diedrich, which has both excellent coffee and pastries (surprisingly rare), can’t make it, what chance do I have? Granted, my shop would be modeled more closely to uber-cool independent shops like The Bourgeois Pig, albeit with a name you actually spell (probably). Now I’ll have to work extra hard at making it obscenely cool. This does not bode well for my lazy ass.
Paul Schrader’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir
Great Noir poses the question: Why me? Why is this happening to me? And the answer is for no reason, for no reason at all. Noir concerned with error and confusion.
-Errol Morris
These are notes I took during Cinema History class some years ago. I hadn’t seen them written quite so clearly on the Internet (I probably didn’t look hard enough), so I am doing so. Thanks to both gentlemen for their contributions (any mistakes are mine, not theirs).
Schrader’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir
- The majority of scenes are lit for night.
- Oblique and vertical lines are preferred to horizontal.
- The actors and setting are often given equal lighting emphasis. This devalues the characters’ humanity.
- Compositional is preferred to physical action.
- Performance intensity
- Crowded characters
- Much use of reflective surfaces (water, mirrors, windows).
- Goes back to German Expressionism
- Introspection of characters
- Voice-over narration is often used. It is frequently needed by the audience to understand the plot.
- Complex chronological order reinforces a sense of hopelessness and lost time.
Here is the addenda provided by my professor, Robin Matthews:
Matthew’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir
- Rain
- Adds a somber tone
- Creates reflective surfaces
- Neon lights
- Indicate an urban environment
- Give off little light
- Dimly lit nightclubs: provide a place to plan crimes
- Winding roads: relate to dreams, as unsolved
- Characters with physical handicaps, or “grotesques” (E.g., Nicholson’s bandaged nose in Chinatown transforms him into a clown.)
- Sadists (E.g., Night of the Hunter)
- Double- and triple-crosses
- Can’t trust anyone
- Femme fatales
- E.g., Body Heat
- “Cosmic” irrationality
- Good and bad are not that far apart
- Happy endings are rare
- Example 1: French Connection‘s Popeye Doyle endangering innocent lives during a car chase
- Example 2: DOA
- Dream sequences
Wolfmother Review
Imagine Marc Bolan backed by Black Sabbath while Ozzy was on a bender, and you’ve got a pretty clear idea of Wolfmother. Aussie Ozborne, if you will. If you’ve got a healthy taste for classic rock, by which I mean the hard stuff, you’ll find their self titled album pretty fanstastic.
I’m ever impressed by bands these days who really capture a particular sound from years past. Interpol, She Wants Revenge – those aren’t bands that are influenced by the Manchester music scene of the 80’s – they’re the real thing. Wolfmother does the same thing for 70’s rock. I seriously doubt there’s a modern instrument among them.
And cover art by Frank Frazetta for cryin’ out loud!
Some people think embracing an era that strongly is lame and unorginal. I’m of the opinion that it’s actually way harder to pull off than anyone gives them credit for. Also, it sounds awesome. Also, my opinions count more than other people’s. Sorry, that’s just a fact.
You’ve probably heard Woman by now, and maybe Dimension if you watched Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. Here are some other tracks I thought were particularly good:
White Unicorn: Just the title is evocative of the 70’s fantasy literature and art embraced by bands like Rush (did you know they had a song called The Necromancer? And another about trees fighting each other?) and Led Zeplin (who weren’t afraid to sing about Middle Earth).
Mind’s Eye: little slower, but with a rockin’ chorus. Keyboards remind me of The Who.
Love Train: Little funk, little Latin vibe thrown in.
Straight Outta Lynwood
Masterchief submitted a fantastic video from Weird Al, rapping White and Nerdy. There have been others who’ve explored nerd-core, which is a sort of running in-joke for nerds, but in rap form. Most of it is simply OK – amusing lyrics, but mediocre skillz. The quality of Weird Al’s stuff is far superior, but let’s face it – it’s a parody. He doesn’t come up with the original music. Nonetheless, this may be considered the archetypal nerd-core track.
The Conversation, The Series
Coppola and company will be turning The Conversation into a television series. It will pick up where the movie left off, so put that into your Netflix queue. From Variety:
Producer Tony Krantz (“24”) is teaming with scribes Christopher McQuarrie (“The Usual Suspects”) and Erik Jendresen (“Band of Brothers”) to turn Francis Ford Coppola’s “The Conversation” into a weekly series for ABC.
This is great news for team members of The Crack Team, which made this an official CT Classic Movie long ago. I think this is a great crew to make it happen, judging by their body of work (although I didn’t watch Band of Brothers). I’m just curious who will star. Hackman is 76, so that might be a bit of a stretch. But we’d need a gruff, everyman for the part. Any suggestions?
Crank Review
This film is an exhausting exercise in style over substance. It has an 80’s undercurrent via music and 8-bit video games, but for no reason I could determine. As it opened, I thought that I might not be in the right theatre, but the title credit (done in super low-res graphics) confirmed it. When I walked out, I thought the writer/director came from video games. Turns out I’m not far off the mark. There are two of them, and both did visual f/x for Biker Boyz. This helps explain the shitty writing. So, ok, I laughed a few times. A few action sequences were decent. But I certainly don’t think that made it worth seeing. Ok, yes, Amy Smart looks amazing, and that’d be enough for some, but she also plays a very annoying character. You’d think that with a hitman for boyfriend, she’d be dead already (then again, she is really hot here).
Meanwhile, I still haven’t seen Little Miss Sunshine, The Illusionist, Hollywoodland, or heck, even Beerfest. Talk about salt in the wounds…
Playstation 3 Delayed, Cut Back
Sony announced that the PS3 will be delayed in Europe, and cut U.S. Christmas shipments in half. Add to this it will cost $500-600, versus $300-400 for XBOX 360, and >$250 for the Nintendo Wii, which confirmed it’s shipping on time. Apparently there are technical and/or supply problems with the Blu-ray components. Getting a Blu-ray player with your console is decent, but I haven’t seen a $600 console since Neo-Geo. Are they gonna have $130+ games, too?