When it is time for you to learn more about me, it will be too late for your soul.

In the mean time, I will help you see the ugly truths about the world that a decent person would never share. I will guide you back to the light when the rest of the world has given up on you, not for your sake, but for my entertainment, when I see the look in your eyes that you wish you where still unaware. You cannot unlearn what I teach, and you cannot deny what I say. My spelling though, you might find problems with, so what do I know.

It is not my place to judge others more than I would want to be judged by them, but I have no fear of being called out for my inadequacies, and I have a tank top that says so. If you feel that my review of your artistic expression was unfair, prove me wrong on your next project. If you feel vindicated because I am in the minority, or even if I stand alone on the planet with my opinion, don’t take solace in this, but rather be thankful that others don’t have the clarity of thought to see what is obvious when you open your eyes. If you are happy that I found pleasure in your existence, know that your success is justified and valiant, and feel pity for those that don’t share your glory.

Most importantly though, do not feel that my truths are based on your race, your sex, your level of education, your social status, your sexual preference, your country of origin, your religion, or your income. None of these factors matter, as my perception of who you are is tainted only by your lack of being me, and nothing else. Of course, being the fat little bald monkey that I am, that ain’t such a bad thing.