Yes, Presidential Election Year 2008 seems to be over. Or is it?? Read on.
With most polls placing Democratic candidate Obama 10+ points over Republican candidate McCain, it would seem to be a routine slide to November 4th this year. However, I like to keep things interesting, so here are my top predictions for an Obama presidency:
Item 1: Obama wins. Duh.
But he does not win by the 10+ margin that the polls predict. I believe that the contest will be a lot closer on Nov. 4th. There will be a lot of Republicans kicking themselves in the butt for not voting. Shame on you; all Americans should vote on this Election Day. The unexpected vote numbers will possibly be blamed on the Bradley Effect witnessed in the California Gubernatorial election of 1982 :folks did not admit to the pollsters that they would not vote for a black candidate. When the election took place, the true numbers came out. But this disparity in reporting vs. reality will result in……
Item 2: Media backlash.
All of us are aware that the media was in bed with candidate Obama, eg: Saturday Night Live lampooned this phenomenum when they showed reporters asking candidate Obama if he needed a pillow or if it should be fluffed some more. Candidate Hillary Clinton alluded to this “Obama Effect” during her own candidacy. I believe the American people will not tolerate 4 more years of this whore-pimp situation and will strike back against the media by NOT WATCHING. Expect higher viewing numbers for reality-television shows and Entertainment-Tonight-type programs as news viewership declines. Same for newspapers, unless they print sale-coupons or cents-off coupons for food. Which brings us to…..
Item 3: Economy in the toilet.
Despite Obama’s “efficiencies” and his research into extracting sunlight from cucumbers1 the economy will continue its slide into crumminess or at best, into stagnation. There will be an initial bump upwards, due to the change-is-coming effect, but this will quickly be replaced by the cold truth of reality. Useless investment in ocean wind farms and solar panel cities will not trickle down to other sectors of the economy. They will not produce enough energy to fuel an economic resurgence, but they will make for an exciting IMAX film coming to your neighborhood soon !!! 2 Which easily leads to…..
Item 4: Blame it on Bush.
Blaming anything and everything on Bush has become such a popular pastime that I don’t think it will stop. Obama got elected by blaming the Bush Presidency and I don’t think he will stop. Blaming the continuing crisis on 8 Bush years will get pretty old, though, and soon. The Economic Crisis got him elected, but it will also bring Obama down in popularity and job acceptance poll-numbers. There will be books written on this period of economic distress, which is why I find it so curious that none will be written about……
Item 5: Big Conspiracy.
I always connect a big event with the people that most benefit from that big event. This crisis got Obama elected, ergo, the Democratic Party is behind it. Now wait. Before you consign this thought to the rubbish bin section of your brain, consider this: the crisis was bound to happen, the bad home loans were in place, the banks were running on vapor; but what made it happen just NOW?? Why did it not happen months ago, or on November 5th? Why was it so fortuitously timed for a particular person to benefit?? Just the timing of it makes my conspiracy-theory-minded Spidey sense tingle. And trust me, I am not the only person making this kind of fantastical leap: most reporters got their reputations by developing that investigative-hunch-bone that makes them uneasy when things “just happen.” But the lack of investigative reporting makes me wonder about how far this conspiracy reaches. Could it be that not only the Democrats but also the Republicans have something to hide in this mess, and they have both managed to keep the press at bay?? Newshounds know that you can’t piss both sides of the political process, or you end up with 4 years of reporting on Libertarian and Green Party issues. But they can still redeem themselves and avoid Item 2. It just may not be possible to do so. Just look at the finger that pushed the first domino in the chain of bank failures, that’s were the fault lies.
And bonus Item 6:
Obama’s ethanol initiative will pollute the environment in a big way and turn environmentalists against him. Again. But nobody cares about this, so please ignore.
Afterthought Item 7: Sarah Palin runs for Presidency 2012. This year shows that inexperience is not a detractor to the Presidency if you are popular enough. After discarding the McCain deadweight (sorry John!!), Palin will reject public funding for campaigns and go on to raise prodigious amounts of cash that will take her to the Presidency. But watch out: her run will encourage Hillary Clinton to also run in 2012, capitalizing on her opposition to Obama since the very start; she will find an understanding American public. That’s the campaign *I* want to see made into a movie!!3
- “Gulliver’s Travels”, Jonathan Swift [↩]
- As an engineer, I am actually intrigued by these new power systems; they
will look pretty cool but will not produce the scale of energy needed by a country the size of the USA [↩] - NOTE to Spike Lee: we don’t want an inspirational Obama film starring Denzel Washington, unless Obama is running a secret war against extraterrestrials on the Dark Side of the moon, with lots of special effects explosions and USA space troopers launching out of the Capitol building [↩]
Interesting piece! Like I’ve said offline, I’ve been turned off politics by the blatant lies (i.e., campaign promises) from both sides. Jon Stewart showed them to be ludicrous and John Stossel showed them to nigh-impossible. Of course, as a Californian, my presidential vote doesn’t count unless it’s Democratic.
As far as blaming goes, Dave Barry has said that the current president is always blamed for the current crisis, no matter who the real culprit is. The flip side is that he gets credit when things go well, too. Clinton has rightfully been blamed for making it easier for low income/bad credit individuals to buy homes, thus creating the housing bubble and ensuing credit crisis. But Bush did nothing to stop it since politicians use high home ownership rates as a sign of victory, not bad decision making. I hear it’s hard to get a home loan these days because banks want you to have good credit and a down payment. Well duh!
As for efficiencies, I’ve worked at a big company full of engineers who hate inefficiency, but it’s there because the gov’t is the customer. Again, Dave Barry has done an exemplary job of pointing out the rampant, uncontrollable growth of gov’t bureaucracies. I think it’s because the more effort it takes to do something, the more people and money it requires, and hence the more power given to the managers and politicians who control it. It’s the same thing with organized labor: mgt. says they’ll train employees in new technologies but labor rejects it because the new technologies require reduced head counts (and improve the company overall, but let’s not see the forest for the trees). This lowers the power of those who run the unions.
So I don’t think there’s a chance in hell of creating efficiencies in gov’t – you can only lower its responsibilities and hence the budget and taxes. And if the Republicans (other than Ron Paul) won’t shrink gov’t, then the Democrats certainly won’t.
I definitely see myself writing in a candidate for the foreseeable future.
I definitely see lots of votes for candidate “Ian Madas Hel” plus his running mate “And I am not going to take it anymore!” Courtesy of the classic movie Network. Which is now playing on the Classic Movie Network !!!
Here’s my proposition to the American people: the next 4 years are going to be painful, so vote for a team that looks good on TV giving you the bad news; I vote for Sarah Palin… she’s easy on the eyes.
And now that I’ve completely insulted both parties and every voter: Vote your conscience on November 4th and ignore my rantings. But just watch what happens in the next few years, as agent Renegade says: “I (bladerunner) am always right”
As I read this, I really thought it was going to be spun into an Idiocracy Joke ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/ )
This election cycle has been the most fun I have ever had for screwing with people who try to convince others that their candidate is the only choice worth considering. Seriously, anyone who would want to be president right now has just demonstrated exceptionally poor judgement, and anyone who believes their guy is what the country needs is a perfect example of why we should test people for basic cognitive abilities before letting them vote (or breed). On the other hand, we do live in a representative democracy, and it looks like we will be getting what we deserve.
Myself, having spent most of my career working with the government, I am voting for the candidate I believe will be least effective in enacting his policies (with my money). That sadly is driven more by pelosi and reid (purposefully not capitalized as a sign of disrespect). The thought of those to stardists (kind of a mixup between socialists, fascists, and retards) fighting with McLuvin for 4 years sounds sublime to me,
John Stoeffel has a very nice piece out today making the case that perhaps not everyone should go out to vote today. His argument: Rock The Vote has registered 100K voters at various rock concert venues. But when John’s 20/20 crew followed behind and asked these very same voters the question “How many senators in Congress?” they got answers from 16 to 64 to 50 per state. I like that last one; it at least tries to make some cognitive connections and that must be admired. I would have liked to find out why people were picking powers of 2 as the answer. Perhaps this is a sign that we do indeed live in a digital age.
As for my political satire: it comes from the heart. You are correct in saying that the current situation is dire and that we’ll need more than just empty rhetoric to cure what ails us. I just think one candidate has more of the goods than the other one, although it may not make a difference, as you suggested. So perhaps voting for the good-looking ticket is the same as voting for the other, good-sounding ticket. I’ll let you decide which is which.
Post Election Update: I was right. I’m always right.
Well, not always.
Item 1. The polls were right, and no one is more surprised than I. And I am now going to give the pollsters proper respect. Apparently, their robo-phonecalls were able to eliminate the “Bradley Effect” pretty nicely. Their predictions of 6 percent margin were right on the ball. Kudos to you, gentlemen.
Item 2. Media backlash is starting. The selling of the Democratic candidate by the media (I don’t even bother saying “the liberal media”) was distasteful, and their coronation of a new American Icon does not sit well with me. For crying out loud, let the man accomplish a couple of things before you give him the Nobel Prize!! And bringing thousands to tears because this is a historic ocassion does not count. I could do the same by watching a really terrible chick-flick. However, he is my President and I pay his salary. So get to work Obama, I’ll keep on reminding you to try harder.
Item 5. There will be no book on the Big Conspiracy that created the economic meltdown in order to get Obama elected. Michael Crichton passed away this week, so there is no visionary that could tie the exciting, young new President to genetic tinkering and an underground culture run by evolved dinosaurs that is secretly controlling President-elect Obama. Since no humans were involved in this dastardly deed, it must have been The Saurians.
Item 7. Sarah Palin arrived in Anchorage today, greeted by thousands shouting “2012, 2012, 2012” I believe that I will live to see the day when the Alien vs. Predator, er, Hillary vs. Sarah Palin movie will be made. And I can’t wait to see it. Of course, by then admission will be $20 in Obamos (New World currency) and there will be no popcorn, since all corn will be sucked into the Ethanol Fiasco engendered by President Obama.
Sorry, I did not mean to mix humor with deadly-serious satire. I’ll do better next time.